Justine 淑女的眼泪 Chapter 34

These frightful¹ theories soon led me to think of Omphale's doubts upon the manner in which we left the terrible house we were in. And it was then I conceived the plans you will see me execute in the sequel. However, to complete my enlightenment I could not prevent myself from putting yet a few more questions to Father Clement².

 

"But surely," I said, "you do not keep your passions' unhappy victims forever; you surely send them away when you are wearied of them?"

 

"Certainly, Therese," the monk³ replied; "you only entered this establishment in order to leave it when the four of us agree to grant your retirement⁴. Which will most certainly be granted."

 

"But do you not fear," I continued, "lest the younger and less discreet⁵ girls sometimes go and reveal what is done here?"

 

"'Tis impossible."

 

"Impossible ?"

 

"Absolutely."

 

"Could you explain..."

 

"No, that's our secret, but I can assure you of this much: that whether you are discreet or indiscreet, you will find it perfectly⁶ impossible ever to say a word about what is done here when you are here no longer. And thus you see, Therese, I recommend no discretion⁷ to you, just as my own desires are governed by no restraining policy...."

 

And, having utter'd these words, the monk fell asleep. From that moment onward⁸, I could no longer avoid realizing that the most violent measures were used with those unhappy ones of us who were retrenched⁹ and that this terrible security they boasted of was only the fruit of our death. I was only the more confirmed in my resolve; we will soon see its effect.

 

As soon as Clement was asleep, Armande came near to me.

 

"He will awake shortly," she said; "he will behave like a madman: Nature only puts his senses to sleep in order to give them, after a little rest, a much greater energy; one more scene and we will have peace until tomorrow."

 

"But you," I said to my companion, "aren't you going to sleep a little while ?"

 

"How can I ?" Armande replied, "when, were I not to remain awake and standing¹⁰ by his side, and were my negligence¹¹ to be perceived, he would be the man to stab me to death."

 

"O Heaven!" I sighed, "why! even as he sleeps the villain¹² would that those around him remain in a state of suffering !"

 

"Yes," my companion responded, "it is the very barbarity of the idea which procures¹³ the furious awakening¹⁴ you are going to witness; upon this he is like unto those perverse¹⁵ writers whose corruption¹⁶ is so dangerous, so active, that their single aim is, by causing their appalling¹⁷ doctrines¹⁸ to be printed, to immortalize the sum of their crimes after their own lives are at an end; they themselves can do no more, but their accursed writings will instigate¹⁹ the commission of crimes, and they carry this sweet idea with them to their graves: it comforts them for the obligation, enjoined²⁰ by death, to relinquish²¹ the doing of evil."

 

"The monsters!" I cried....

 

Armande, who was a very gentle creature, kissed me as she shed a few tears, then went back to pacing about the roue's bed.

 

Two hours passed and then the monk did indeed awake in a prodigious²² agitation²³ and seized me with such force I thought he was going to strangle me; his respiration²⁴ was quick and labored²⁵, his eyes glittered, he uttered incoherent words which were exclusively blasphemous²⁶ or libertine²⁷ expressions; he summoned Armande, called for whips, and started in again with his flogging of us both, but in a yet more vigorous manner than before having gone to sleep. It seemed as if he wished to end matters with me; shrill²⁸ cries burst from his mouth; to abridge²⁹ my sufferings, Armande excited him violently, he lost his head entirely³⁰, and finally made rigid³¹ by the most violent sensations, the monster lost both his ardor³² and his desires together with smoking floods of semen.

 

Nothing transpired³³ during the rest of the night; upon getting up, the monk was content to touch and examine each of us; and as he was going to say Mass, we returned to the seraglio. The superintendent³⁴ could not be prevented from desiring me in. the inflamed³⁵ state she swore I must be in; exhausted³⁶ I indeed was and, thus weakened, how could I defend myself ? She did all she wished, enough to convince me that even a woman, in such a school, soon losing all the delicacy³⁷ and restraint native to her sex, could only, after those tyrants³⁸' example, become obscene and cruel.

 

Two nights later, I slept with Jerome; I will not describe his horrors to you; they were still more terrifying. What an academy, great God! by week's end I had finally made the circuit, and then Omphale asked me whether it were not true that of them all, Clement was the one about whom I had the most to complain.

 

"Alas³⁹!" was my response, "in the midst of a crowd of horrors and messes of filth⁴⁰ which now disgust and now revolt, it is very difficult to pronounce upon these villains⁴¹' individual odiousness⁴³; I am mortally weary of them all and would that I were gone from here, whatever be the fate that awaits me."

 

"It might be possible that you will soon be satisfied," my companion answered; "we are nearing the period of the festival: this circumstance rarely takes place without bringing them victims; they either seduce⁴⁴ girls by means of the confessional, or, if they can, they cause them to disappear: which means so many new recruits, each of whom always supposes a retrenchment⁴⁵."

 

The famous holiday arrived... will you be able to believe, Madame, what monstrous⁴⁶ impieties⁴⁷ the monks⁴⁸ were guilty of during this event! They fancied a visible miracle would double the brilliance⁴⁹ of their reputation; and so they dressed Florette, the youngest of the girls, in all the Virgin⁵⁰'s attire⁵¹ and adornments; by means of concealed⁵² strings⁵³ they tied her against the wall of the niche⁵⁴ and ordered her to elevate her arms very suddenly and with compunction toward heaven simultaneously⁵⁵ the host was raised. As the little creature was threatened with the cruelest chastising⁵⁶ if she were to speak a single word or mismanage in her role, she carried it off marvelously well, and the fraud enjoyed all the success that could possibly have been expected. The people cried aloud the miracle, left rich offerings to the Virgin, and went home more convinced than ever of the efficacity of the celestial⁵⁷ Mother's mercies. In order to increase their impiety⁵⁸, our libertines⁵⁹ wanted to have Florette appear at the orgies that evening, dressed in the same costume that had attracted so many homages, and each one inflamed his odious⁴² desires to submit her, in this guise⁶⁰, to the irregularity of his caprices. Aroused by this initial crime, the sacrilegious ones go considerably⁶¹ further: they have the child stripped naked, they have her lie on her stomach upon a large table; they light candles, they place the image of our Saviour⁶² squarely upon the little girl's back and upon her buttocks they dare consummate⁶³ the most redoubtable⁶⁴ of our mysteries. I swooned away at this horrible spectacle, 'twas impossible to bear the sight. Severino, seeing me unconscious, says that, to bring me to heel, I must serve as the altar in my turn. I am seized; I am placed where Florette was lying; the sacrifice is consummated⁶⁵, and the host... that sacred symbol of our august Religion... Severino catches it up and thrusts it deep into the obscene locale of his sodomistic pleasures... crushes it with oaths and insults... ignominiously⁶⁶ drives it further with the intensified⁶⁷ blows of his monstrous dart⁶⁸ and as he blasphemes, spurts⁶⁹, upon our Saviour's very Body, the impure⁷⁰ floods of his lubricity's torrents⁷¹....

 

I was insensible when they drew me from his hands; I had to be carried to my room, where for a week I shed uninterrupted tears over the hideous⁷² crime for which, against my will, I had been employed. The memory still gnaws⁷³ at my soul, I never think back upon that scene without shuddering⁷⁴.... In me, Religion is the effect of sentiment; all that offends or outrages⁷⁵ it makes my very heart bleed.

 

The end of the month was close at hand when one morning toward nine Severino entered our chamber⁷⁶; he appeared greatly aroused; a certain crazed look hovered⁷⁷ in his eyes; he examines us, one after the other, places us in his cherished attitude, and especially lingers over Omphale; for several minutes he stands, contemplating⁷⁸ her in the posture⁷⁹ she has assumed, he excites himself, mutters dully, secretly, kisses what is offered him, allows everyone to see he is in a state to consummate, and consummates⁸⁰ nothing; next, he has her straighten up, casts upon her glances filled with rage and wickedness; then, swinging his foot, with all his strength he kicks her in the belly⁸¹, she reels backward and falls six yards away.

 

"The company is retrenching⁸² you, whore," he says, "we are tired of you, be ready by this afternoon. I will come to fetch you myself." And he leaves.

 

When he is gone Omphale gets up and, weeping, casts herself into my arms.

 

"Ah!" she says, "by the infamy⁸³, by the cruelty of the preliminaries... can you still blind yourself as to what follows? Great God! what is to become of me?"

 

"Be easy," I say to the miserable⁸⁴ girl, "I have made up my mind about everything; I only await the opportunity; it may perhaps present itself sooner than you think; I will divulge⁸⁵ these horrors; if it is true the measures they take are as cruel as we have reason to believe, strive to obtain some delays, postpone⁸⁶ it, and I will wrest⁸⁷ you from their clutches."

 

In the event Omphale were to be released, she swore in the same way to aid me, and both of us fell to weeping. The day passed, nothing happened during it; at five o'clock Severino returned.

 

"Well," he asked Omphale, "are you ready?"

 

"Yes, Father," she answered between sobs⁸⁸, "permit me to embrace my friends."

 

" 'Tis useless," replied the monk; "we have no time for lachrymose⁸⁹ scenes; they are waiting for us; come." Then she asked whether she were obliged to take her belongings⁹⁰ with her.

 

"No," said the superior; "does not everything belong to the house? You have no further need of any of it"; then, checking himself, as might one who has said too much:

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