Justine 淑女的眼泪 Chapter 38

Then the Count rose to his feet and came up to examine me. While he makes a detailed¹ investigation² I can describe him to you: the portrait's singularity merits an instant's attention. Monsieur de Gernande was at that time a man of fifty, almost six feet tall and monstrously³ fat. Nothing could be more terrifying than his face, the length of his nose, his wicked black eyes, his large ill-furnished mouth, his formidable high forehead, the sound of his fearful raucous⁵ voice, his enormous hands; all combined to make a gigantic individual whose presence inspired much more fear than reassurance⁶. We will soon be able to decide whether the morals and actions of this species of centaur⁷ were in keeping with his awesome⁸ looks. After the most abrupt⁹ and cavalier scrutiny¹⁰, the Count demanded to Know my age.

 

"I am twenty-three, Monsieur," I replied.

 

And to this first question he added some others of a personal nature. I made him privy¹¹ to everything that concerned me; I did not even omit the brand I had received from Rodin, and when I had represented my misery¹² to him, when I had proven to him that unhappiness had constantly dogged my footsteps:

 

"So much the better," the dreadful man replied, "so much the better, it will have made you more pliable¹³ adaptability¹⁴ counts heavily toward success in this household I see nothing to regret in the wretchedness that hounds an abject¹⁵ race of plebeians¹⁶ Nature has doomed¹⁷ to grovel¹⁸ at our feet throughout the period allotted¹⁹ them to live on the same earth as we. Your sort is more energetic and less insolent²⁰, the pressures of adversity help you fulfill²¹ your duties toward us."

 

"But, Monsieur, I told you that I am not of mean birth."

 

"Yes, yes, I have heard that before, they always pass themselves off for all kinds of things when in fact they are nothing or miserable²². Oh indeed, pride's illusions are of the highest usefulness to console fortune's ills, and then, you see, it is up to us to believe what we please about these lofty estates beaten down by the blows of destiny. Pish, d'ye know, it's all the same to me if you fancy yourself a princess. To my consideration you have the look and more or less the costume of a servant, and as such you may enter my hire, if it suits you. However," the hard-hearted man continued, "your welfare, your happiness they are your concern, they depend on your performance: a little patience, some discretion²³, and in a few years you will be sent forth²⁴ in a way to avoid further service."

 

Then he took one after the other of my arms, rolled my sleeves to the elbows, and examined them attentively²⁵ while asking me how many times I had been bled.

 

"Twice, Monsieur," I told him, rather surprised at the question, and I mentioned when and under what circumstances it had happened. He pressed his fingers against the veins²⁶ as one does when one wishes to inflate²⁷ them, and when they were swollen²⁸ to the desired point, he fastened his lips to them and sucked. From that instant I ceased to doubt libertinage²⁹ was involved in this dreadful person's habits, and tormenting³⁰ anxieties were awakened³¹ in my heart.

 

"I have got to know how you are made," continued the Count, staring at me in a way that set me to trembling; "the post you are to occupy precludes³² any corporeal³³ defects; show me what you have about you."

 

I recoiled³⁴; but the Count, all his facial muscles beginning to twitch³⁵ with anger, brutally³⁶ informed me that I should be ill-advised to play the prude with him, for, said he, there are infallible methods of bringing women to their senses.

 

"What you have related to me does not betoken³⁷ a virtue³⁸ of the highest order; and so your resistance would be quite as misplaced as ludicrous."

 

Whereupon he made a sign to his young boys who, approaching immediately, fell to undressing me. Against persons as enfeebled, as enervated³⁹ as those who surrounded me, it is certainly not difficult to defend oneself; but what good would it have done? The cannibal who had cast me into their hands could have pulverized⁴⁰ me, had he wished to, with one blow of his fist. I therefore understood I had to yield: an instant later I was unclothed; 'twas scarcely done when I perceived I was exciting those two Ganymedes to gales⁴¹ of laughter.

 

"Look ye, friend," said the younger, "a girl's a pretty thing, eh ? But what a shame there's that cavity there."

 

"Oh!" cried the other, "nothing nastier than that hole, I'd not touch a woman even were my fortune at stake."

 

And while my fore⁴ end was the subject of their sarcasms⁴², the Count, an intimate partisan⁴³ of the behind (unhappily, alas⁴⁴! like every libertine⁴⁵), examined mine with the keenest interest: he handled it brutally, he browsed⁴⁶ about with avidity; taking handfuls of flesh between his fingers, he rubbed and kneaded them to the point of drawing blood. Then he made me walk away from him, halt, walk backward in his direction, keeping my behind turned toward him while he dwelled upon the sight of it. When I had returned to him, he made me bend, stoop, squat⁴⁷, stand erect⁴⁸, squeeze and spread. Now and again he slipped to his knees before that part which was his sole concern. He applied⁴⁹ kisses to several different areas of it, even a few upon that most secret orifice; but all his kisses were distinguished⁵⁰ by suction, his lips felt like leeches⁵¹. While he was applying them here and there and everywhere he solicited⁵² numerous details concerning what had been done to me at the monastery⁵³ of Saint Mary-in-the-Wood, and without noticing that my recitations doubled his warmth, I was candid⁵⁴ enough to give them all with naivete. He summoned up one of his youths and placing him beside me, he untied⁵⁵ the bow securing a great red ribbon which gathered in white gauze pantaloons, and brought to light all the charms this garment concealed⁵⁶. After some deft⁵⁷ caresses⁵⁸ bestowed⁵⁹ upon the same altar at which, in me, the Count had signaled his devotion, he suddenly exchanged the object and fell to sucking that part which characterized the child's sex. He continued to finger me: whether because of habit in the youth, whether because of the satyr's dexterity⁶⁰, in a very brief space Nature, vanquished⁶¹, caused there to flow into the mouth of the one what was ejected from the member of the other. That was how the libertine exhausted⁶² the unfortunate children he kept in his house, whose number we will shortly see; 'twas thus he sapped their strength, and that was what caused the languor⁶³ in which I beheld⁶⁴ them to be. And now let us see how he managed to keep women in the same state of prostration⁶⁵ and what was the true cause of his own vigor's preservation⁶⁶.

 

The homage⁶⁷ the Count rendered me had been protracted⁶⁸, but during it not a trace of infidelity to his chosen temple had he revealed; neither his glances, nor his kisses, nor his hands, nor his desires strayed away from it for an instant; after having sucked the other lad and having in likewise gathered and devoured⁶⁹ his sperm⁷⁰:

 

"Come," he said to me, drawing me into an adjacent room before I could gather up my clothes, "come, I am going to show you how we manage."

 

I was unable to dissimulate⁷¹ my anxiety, it was terrible; but there was no other way to put a different aspect upon my fate, I had to quaff⁷² to the lees the potion in the chalice⁷³ tendered to me.

 

Two other boys of sixteen, quite as handsome, quite as peaked as the first two we had left in the salon⁷⁴, were working upon a tapestry⁷⁵ when we entered the room. Upon our entrance they rose.

 

"Narcisse," said the Count to one of them, "here is the Countess' new chambermaid; I must test her; hand me the lancets."

 

Narcisse opens a cupboard and immediately produces all a surgeon's gear. I allow your imagination to fancy my state; my executioner spied my embarrassment⁷⁶, and it merely excited his mirth.

 

"Put her in place, Zephire," Monsieur de Gernande said to another of the youths, and this boy approached me with a smile.

 

"Don't be afraid, Mademoiselle," said he, "it can only do you the greatest good. Take your place here."

 

It was a question of kneeling lightly upon the edge of a tabouret located in the middle of the room; one's arms were elevated and attached to two black straps⁷⁷ which descended⁷⁸ from the ceiling.

 

No sooner have I assumed the posture⁷⁹ than the Count steps up scalpel in hand: he can scarcely breathe, his eyes are alive with sparks, his face smites⁸⁰ me with terror; he ties bands about both my arms, and in a flash he has lanced each of them. A cry bursts from between his teeth, it is accompanied by two or three blasphemies⁸¹ when he catches sight of my blood; he retires to a distance of six feet and sits down. The light garment covering him is soon deployed⁸²; Zephire kneels between his thighs⁸³ and sucks him; Narcisse, his feet planted on his master's armchair, presents the same object to him to suckle he is himself having drained by Zephire. Gernande gets his hands upon the boy's loins, squeezes them, presses them to him, but quits them long enough to cast his inflamed⁸⁴ eyes toward me. My blood is escaping in floods and is falling into two white basins situated⁸⁵ underneath⁸⁶ my arms. I soon feel myself growing faint.

 

"Monsieur, Monsieur," I cry, "have pity on me, I am about to collapse⁸⁷." I sway, totter⁸⁸, am held up by the straps, am unable to fall; but my arms having shifted, and my head slumping⁸⁹ upon my shoulder, my face is now washed with blood. The Count is drunk with joy... however, I see nothing like the end of his operation approaching, I swoon before he reaches his goal; he was perhaps only able to attain⁹⁰ it upon seeing me in this state, perhaps his supreme⁹¹ ecstasy⁹² depended upon this morbid⁹³ picture.... At any rate, when I returned to my senses I found myself in an excellent bed, with two old women standing⁹⁴ near me; as soon as they saw me open my eyes, they brought me a cup of bouillon and, at three-hour intervals⁹⁵, rich broths⁹⁶; this continued for two days, at the end of which Monsieur de Gernande sent to have me get up and come for a conversation in the same salon where I had been received upon my arrival. I was led to him; I was still a little weak and giddy, but otherwise well; I arrived.

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