Justine 淑女的眼泪 Chapter 43

"Therese! What are you doing here ?" he demands.

 

"Oh, Monsieur, punish me," I reply, "I am guilty and have nothing to answer you."

 

Unhappily, in my fright I had forgotten to destroy the Countess' letter: he suspects its existence, asks for it, I wish to deny I have it; but Gernande sees the fatal letter protruding¹ above my kerchief, snatches, it, reads it, and orders me to follow him.

 

We enter the chateau², descend³ a hidden stairway leading down to the vaults⁴: the most profound stillness reigns⁵ there below ground; after several detours⁶, the Count opens a dungeon⁷ and casts me into it.

 

"Impudent⁸ girl," says he, "I gave you warning that the crime you have just committed is punished here by death: therefore prepare yourself to undergo the penalty you have been pleased to incur⁹. When tomorrow I rise from dinner I am going to dispatch you."

 

Once again I fall prostrate¹⁰ before him but, seizing me by the hair, he drags me along the ground, pulls me several times around my prison, and ends by hurling¹¹ me against the wall in such a manner I am nigh to having my brains dashed out.

 

"You deserve to have me open your four veins¹² this instant," says he as he closes the door, "and if I postpone¹³ your death, be very sure it is only in order to render it the more horrible."

 

He has left; I am in a state of the most violent agitation¹⁴; I shall not describe the night I passed: my tormented¹⁵ imagination together with the physical hurt done me by the monster's initial cruelties made it one of the most dreadful I had ever gone through. One has no conception of what anguish¹⁶ is suffered by the wretch¹⁷ who from hour to hour awaits his ordeal¹⁸, from whom hope has fled, and who knows not whether this breath he draws may not be his last. Uncertain of the torture, he pictures it in a thousand forms, one more frightful¹⁹ than the other; the least noise he hears may be that of his approaching assassins; the blood freezes in his veins, his heart grows faint, and the blade which is to put a period to his days is less cruel than those terrible instants swollen²⁰ with the menace of death.

 

In all likelihood the Count began by revenging himself upon his wife: you will be as convinced of it as I by the event which saved me. For thirty-six hours I lingered in the critical condition I have just described; during that time I was brought no relief; and then my door was opened and the Count appeared: he was alone, fury glittered in his eyes.

 

"You must be fully²¹ cognizant of the death you are going to undergo: this perverse²² blood has got to be made to seep²³ out of you: you will be bled three times a day, I want to see how long you can survive the treatment. 'Tis an experiment I have been all afire to make, you know; my thanks to you for furnishing me the means."

 

And, for the time being occupying himself with no passion but his vengeance²⁴, the monster made me stretch forth²⁵ an arm, pricked²⁶ it and stopped the wound after he had drawn²⁷ two bowls of blood. He had scarcely finished when cries were heard.

 

"Oh, my Lord, my Lord !" exclaimed one of the servants who came running up to him, "come as quick as ever you can, Madame is dying, she wishes to speak to you before she gives up her soul."

 

And the old woman turned and flew back to her mistress.

 

However habituated one may be to crime, it is rarely that news of its accomplishment²⁸ does not strike terror into him who has committed it; this fear avenges²⁹ Virtue³⁰: Virtue resumes possession of its rights: Gernande goes out in alarm, he forgets to secure the dungeon's doors; although enfeebled by a forty hours' fast and the blood I have lost, I exploit my opportunity, leap from my cell, find my way unimpeded, traverse the court, the park, and reach the forest without having been perceived. Walk, I say to myself, walk, walk, be courageous³¹; if the mighty³² scorn the weak, there is an omnipotent³³ God Who shields the latter and Who never abandons them. My head crowded with these ideas, I advance with a stout³⁴ heart and before night closes I find myself in a cottage four leagues from the chateau. Some money remained to me, my needs were attended to, in a few hours I was rested. I left at daybreak and, renouncing³⁵ all plans to register old or new complaints with the authorities, I asked to be directed toward Lyon; the road was pointed³⁶ out to me and on the eighth day I reached that city, very weak, suffering much, but happy and unpursued; once arrived, I turned all my thoughts to recovery before striking out for Grenoble where, according to one of my persistent³⁷ notions, happiness awaited me.

 

One day my eye fell upon a gazette printed in some distant place; what was my surprise to behold³⁸ crime crowned once again and to see one of the principal authors of my miseries³⁹ arrived at the pinnacle⁴⁰ of success. Rodin, the surgeon of Saint-Michel, that infamous⁴¹ wretch who had punished me with such cruelty for having wished to spare him the murder of his daughter, had just, the news-paper declared, been named First Surgeon to the Empress of Russia with the considerable emoluments⁴² accompanying that post. May he prosper⁴³, the villain⁴⁴, I muttered to myself, may he be so whilst Providence⁴⁵ so wills it; and thou, unhappy creature, suffer, suffer uncomplainingly, since it is decreed that tribulations⁴⁶ and pain must be Virtue's frightful share; no matter, I shall never lose my taste for it.

 

But I was far from done with these striking examples of the triumph of vice⁴⁷, examples so disheartening for Virtue, and the flourishing condition of the personage whose acquaintance I was about to renew was surely to exasperate⁴⁸ and amaze me more than any other, since it was that of one of the men at whose hands I had endured the bloodiest⁴⁹ outrages⁵⁰. I was exclusively busied with preparing my departure when one evening a lackey⁵¹ clad in gray and completely unknown to me brought me a note; upon presenting it, he said his master had charged him to obtain my response without fail. The missive was worded this way: "A man who has somewhat wronged you, who believes he recognized you in the Place de Belle-cour, is most desirous to see you and to make amends⁵² for his conduct: hasten to come to meet him; he has things to tell you which may help liquidate⁵³ his entire indebtedness to you."

 

The message carried no signature and the lackey offered no explanations. Having declared I was resolved to make no answer at all lest I was informed of who his master was:

 

"He is Monsieur de Saint-Florent, Mademoiselle," the lackey said; "he has had the honor to know you formerly⁵⁴ in the neighbor-hood of Paris; you rendered him, he maintains, services for which he burns to attest⁵⁵ his gratitude⁵⁶. Presently risen to a position of undisputed eminence⁵⁷ in this city's commercial circles, he at once enjoys the consideration and the means which put him in a position to prove his regard for you. He awaits you."

 

My deliberations were soon completed. If this man had other than good intentions, I said to myself, would he be apt to write to me, to have me spoken to in this fashion? He repented⁵⁸ his past infamies⁵⁹, was covered with remorse⁶⁰, it was with horror he remembered having torn from me what I cherished most and, by inaugurating a sequence of nightmares, having reduced me to the cruelest circumstances a woman may know... yes, yes, no doubt of it, this is repentance⁶¹, I should be culpable⁶² before the Supreme⁶³ Being were I not to consent to assuage⁶⁴ his sufferings. Am I in a position, furthermore, to spurn⁶⁵ the support that is proposed here? Rather, ought I not eagerly snatch at all that is offered to relieve me? This man wishes to see me in his town house: his prosperity must surround him with servants before whom he will have to act with enough dignity to prevent him from daring to fail me again, and in my state, Great God! can I inspire anything but sympathy in him? Therefore I assured Saint-Florent's lackey that upon the morrow at eleven o'clock I would take the privilege of going to salute⁶⁶ his master; that I congratulated him upon his good fortune, and added that luck had treated me in nothing approaching the same manner.

 

I returned to my room, but I was so preoccupied⁶⁷ with what this man might wish to say to me that I slept not a wink⁶⁸ all night; the next day I arrived at the indicated address: a superb mansion⁶⁹, a throng⁷⁰ of domestics, that insolent⁷¹ canaille's contemptuous glances at the poverty it scorned, everything afflicts⁷² me and I am about ready to retreat when up comes the same liveryman who had spoken to me the previous evening, and, reassuring⁷³ me, he conducts me into a sumptuous⁷⁴ drawing room where, although it is nine years since I have set eyes on him, I perfectly⁷⁵ recognize my butcher who has now reached the age of forty-five. He does not rise upon my entrance, but gives the order we be left alone, and gestures me to come and seat myself near the vast armchair where he is enthroned.

 

"I wanted to see you again, my child," says he with a humiliating tone of superiority, "not that I thought I had much wronged you, not that a troublesome recollection bids me make restitutions from which I believe my position exempts⁷⁶ me; but I remember that, however brief was our acquaintance, you exhibited some parts during it: wit and character are needed for what I have to propose to you and if you accept, the need I will then have of you will insure your discovery of the resources which are necessary to you, and upon which it should be in vain you were to count without signifying your agreement."

 

I wished to reply with some reproaches for the levity⁷⁷ of this beginning, but Saint-Florent imposed silence upon me.

 

" 'Tis water under the bridge," says he, "a purely⁷⁸ emotional episode, and my principles support the belief I have, that no brake should be applied⁷⁹ to passion; when the appetites speak, they must be heard: that's my law. When I was captured by the thieves with whom you were, did you see me burst into tears? Swallow the bitter pill and act with diligence if one is weak, enjoy all one's rights if powerful: that's my doctrine⁸⁰. You were young and pretty, Therese, we found ourselves in the middle of a forest, nothing so arouses me sensually as the rape⁸¹ of a young virgin⁸² girl; such you were, I raped⁸³ you; I might perhaps have done worse had what I attempted not met with success and had you put up any resistance. But I raped you, then left you naked and robbed in the middle of the night, upon a perilous⁸⁴ road: two motives⁸⁵ gave rise to that further villainy: I needed money and had none; as for the other reason which drove me to do this, 'twould be in vain were I to explain it, Therese, it would surpass your understanding. Only those spirits who are deep-learned in the heart of man, who have studied its innermost recesses⁸⁶, gained access to the most impenetrable nooks of this dim-lit labyrinth⁸⁷, they alone might be able to account for this consequence of an aberration⁸⁸."

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