Justine 淑女的眼泪 Chapter 50

...with Kie we'd really be able to perform wonders. Both he and his wife, they say, immolated¹ victims daily and would have them live twenty-four hours in death's cruelest agonies, and in such a state of suffering that they were constantly on the verge² of expiring but never quite able to die, for those monsters administered that kind of aid which made them flutter between relief and torture and only brought them back to life for one minute in order to kill them the next.... I, Therese, I am too gentle, I know nothing of those arts, I'm a mere³ apprentice⁴."

 

Roland retires without completing the sacrifice and hurts me almost as much by this precipitous withdrawal⁵ as he had upon inserting himself. He throws himself into Suzanne's arms, and joining sarcasm⁶ to outrage⁷:

 

"Amiable⁸ creature," he apostrophizes, "with such delight I remember the first instants of our union; never had woman given me such thrilling pleasures, never had I loved one as I did you... let us embrace, Suzanne, for we're going to part, perhaps the season of our separation will be long."

 

"Monster!" my companion retorts, thrusting him away with horror, "begone; to the torments⁹ you inflict¹⁰ upon me, join not the despair of hearing your terrible remarks; sate¹¹ your rage, tigerish one, but at least respect my sufferings."

 

Roland laid hands on her, stretched her upon the couch, her legs widespread, and the workshop of generation ideally within range.

 

"Temple of my ancient pleasures," the infamous¹² creature intoned, "you who procured¹³ me delights so sweet when I plucked your first roses, I must indeed address to you my farewells...."

 

The villain¹⁴! he drove his fingernails into it and, rummaging¹⁵ about inside for a few minutes while screams burst from Suzanne's mouth, he did not withdraw them until they were covered with blood. Glutted¹⁶ and wearied by these horrors, and feeling, indeed, he could restrain himself no longer:

 

"Come, Therese, come," he said, "let's conclude all this with a little scene of funambulism: it'll be cut-the-cord, dear girl."

 

(This game, described above, was in great use amongst the Celts from whom we are descended¹⁷ (see Monsieur Peloutier's `Histoire d'u Celts); virtually all these extravagances of debauchery, these extraordinary libertine¹⁸ passions some part of which are described in this book and which, - how ridiculously! today awaken¹⁹ the law's attention, were, in days bygone, either our ancestors' sports, games far superior to our contemporary amusement, or legalized customs, or again, religious ceremonies; currently, they are transformed into crimes. In how many pious²⁰ rituals did not the pagans employ flagellation! Several people used these identical tortures, or passions, to initiate²² their warriors²³; this was known as huscanaver (viz., the religious ceremonies of every race on earth). These pleasantries, whose maximum inconvenience may be at the very most the death of a slut, are capital crimes at the moment. Three cheers for the progress of civilization! How it conspires²⁴ to the happiness of man, and how much more fortunate than our forebears we are!)

 

...that was the name he gave that deadly legerdemain²⁵ of which I gave you a description when I mentioned Roland's cavern²⁶ for the first time. I mount the three-legged stool, the evil fellow fits the halter about my neck, he takes his place opposite me; although in a frightful²⁷ state, Suzanne excites him manually; an instant passes, then he snaps the stool from beneath me, but equipped with the sickle²⁸, I sever²¹ the cord immediately and fall uninjured to the ground.

 

"Nicely done, very neat!" says Roland, "your turn, Suzanne, there it is, and I'll spare you, if you manage as cleverly."

 

Suzanne takes my place. Oh, Madame, allow me to pass over that dreadful scene's details.... The poor thing did not recover from it.

 

"And now off we go, Therese," says Roland, "you'll not return to this place until your time has come."

 

"Whenever you like, Monsieur, whenever you like," I reply; "I prefer death to the frightful life you have me lead. Are there wretches³⁰ such as we for whom life can be valuable?..."

 

And Roland locked me into my cell. The next day my companions asked what had become of Suzanne and I told them; they were hardly surprised; all were awaiting the same fate and each, like me, seeing therein a term to their suffering, passionately³¹ longed for it.

 

And thus two years went by, Roland indulging in his customary debauchery, I lingering on with the prospect³² of a cruel death, when one day the news went about the chateau³³ that not only were our master's expectations satisfied, not only had he received the immense quantity of Venetian funds he had wished, but that he had even obtained a further order for another six millions in counterfeit³⁴ coin for which he would be reimbursed³⁵ in Italy when he arrived to claim payment; the scoundrel could not possibly have enjoyed better luck; he was going to leave with an income of two millions, not to mention his hopes of getting more: this was the new piece of evidence Providence³⁶ had prepared for me. This was the latest manner in which it wished to convince me that prosperity belongs to Crime only and indigence³⁷ to Virtue³⁸.

 

Matters were at this stage when Roland came to take me to his cavern a third time. I recollect³⁹ what he threatened me with on my previous visit, I shudder⁴⁰....

 

"Rest assured," he says, "you've nothing to fear, 'tis a question of something which concerns me alone... an uncommon⁴¹ joy I'd like to taste and from which you will incur⁴² no risks."

 

I follow him. When the doors are shut:

 

"Therese," says Roland, "there's no one in the house but you to whom I dare confide⁴³ the problem; I've got to have a woman of impeccable honesty.... I've no one about but you, I confess that I prefer you to my sister....

 

Taken aback, I entreat⁴⁴ him to clarify himself.

 

"Then listen," says he; "my fortune is made, but whatever be the favors I have received from fate, it can desert me at any instant; I may be trapped, I could be caught while transporting my bullion⁴⁵, and if that misfortune occurs, Therese, it's the rope that's waiting for me: 'tis the same delight I am pleased to have women savor⁴⁶: that's the one will serve as my undoing⁴⁷; I am as firmly persuaded as I can possibly be that this death is infinitely⁴⁸ sweeter than cruel; but as the women upon whom I have tested its initial anguishes⁴⁹ have never really wished to tell me the truth, it is in person I wish to be made acquainted with the sensation. By way of the experience itself I want to find out whether it is not very certain this asphyxiation⁵⁰ impels⁵¹, in the individual who undergoes it, the erectory nerve to produce an ejaculation; once convinced this death is but a game, I'll brave it with far greater courage, for it is not my existence's cessation terrifies me: my principles are determined⁵² upon that head and well persuaded matter can never become anything but matter again, I have no greater dread²⁹ of Hell than I have expectation of Paradise; but a cruel death's torments make me apprehensive⁵³; I don't wish to suffer when I perish; so let's have a try. You will do to me everything I did to you; I'll strip; I'll mount the stool, you'll adjust the rope, I'll excite myself for a moment, then, as soon as you see things assume a certain consistency⁵⁴, you'll jerk the stool free and I'll remain hanging; you'll leave me there until you either discern my semen's emission⁵⁵ or symptoms of death's throes; in the latter case, you'll cut me down at once; in the other, you'll allow Nature to take her course and you'll not detach me until afterward⁵⁶. You observe, Therese, I'm putting my life in your hands; your freedom, your fortune will be your good conduct's reward."

 

"Ah, Monsieur, there's folly⁵⁷ in the proposition."

 

"No, Therese, I insist the thing be done," he answered, undressing himself, "but behave yourself well; behold⁵⁸ what proof I give you of my confidence and high regard !"

 

What possibility of hesitation⁵⁹ had I? Was he not my master? Furthermore, it seemed to me the evil I was going to do him would be immediately offset⁶⁰ by the extreme care I would take to save his life: I was going to be mistress of that life, but whatever might be his intentions with respect to me, it would certainly only be in order to restore it to him.

 

We take our stations; Roland is stimulated⁶¹ by a few of his usual caresses⁶²; he climbs upon the stool, I put the halter round his neck; he tells me he wants me to curse him during the process, I am to reproach him with all his life's horrors, I do so; his dart⁶³ soon rises to menace Heaven, he himself gives me the sign to remove the stool, I obey; would you believe it, Madame? nothing more true than what Roland had conjectured⁶⁴: nothing but symptoms of pleasure ornament⁶⁵ his countenance⁶⁶ and at practically the same instant rapid jets of semen spring nigh to the vault⁶⁷. When 'tis all shot out without any assistance whatsoever⁶⁸ from me, I rush to cut him down, he falls, unconscious, but thanks to my ministrations he quickly recovers his senses.

 

"Oh Therese !" he exclaims upon opening his eyes, "oh, those sensations are not to be described; they transcend⁶⁹ all one can possibly say: let them now do what they wish with me, I stand unflinching before Themis' sword! "You're going to find me guilty yet another time, Therese," Roland went on, tying my hands behind my back, "no thanks for you, but, dear girl, what can one expect? a man doesn't correct himself at my age.... Beloved creature, you have just saved my life and never have I so powerfully conspired⁷⁰ against yours; you lamented⁷¹ Suzanne's fate; ah well, I'll arrange for you to meet again; I'm going to plunge⁷² you alive into the dungeon⁷³ where she expired."

 

I will not describe my state of mind, Madame, you fancy what it was; in vain did I weep, groan⁷⁴, I was not heeded⁷⁵. Roland opened the fatal dungeon, he hangs out a lamp so that I can still better discern the multitude of corpses⁷⁶ wherewith it is filled; next, he passes a cord under my arms which, as you know, are bound behind my back, and by means of this cord he lowers me thirty feet: I am twenty more from the bottom of the pit: in this position I suffer hideously⁷⁷, it is as if my arms are being torn from their sockets⁷⁸. With what terror was I not seized I what a prospect confronted my eyes! Heaps of bodies in the midst of which I was going to finish my life and whose stench was already infecting me. Roland cinches the rope about a stick fitted above the hole then, brandishing⁷⁹ a knife, I hear him exciting himself.

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