Justine 淑女的眼泪 Chapter 55

The opaque¹ ambiguity² of these phrases, what Dubois had said to me upon entering, the species of gentleman with whom I had to do, this other girl whose forthcoming appearance had been announced, all this instantly troubled my imagination to a degree it would be difficult to describe. A cold sweat seeped³ from my pores and I was about to fall in a swoon 'twas at that instant this man's projects finally became clear to me. He calls me to him, begins with two or three kisses whereby our mouths are obliged to unite; he seeks my tongue, finds and sucks it and his, running deep into my throat, seems to be pumping the very breath from my lungs. He has me bend my head upon his chest, he lifts my hair and closely observes the nape of my neck.

 

"Oh, 'tis delicious!" he cries, squeezing it vigorously; "I've never seen one so nicely attached; 'twill be divine to make it jump free."

 

This last remark confirmed all my intimations; I saw very clearly I was once again in the clutches of one of those libertines⁵ moved by cruel passions, whose most cherished delights consist in enjoying the agonies or the death of the luckless victims procured⁷ them by money; I observed I was in danger of losing my life.

 

And then a knock at the door; Dubois leaves and an instant later ushers⁸ in the young Lyonnaise she had mentioned shortly before. I'll now try to sketch¹⁰ the two personages in whose company you are going to see me for a while. The Monseigneur, whose name and estate T never discovered, was, as I told you, a man of forty years, slender, indeed slight of frame, but vigorously constituted, sinewy¹¹, with his muscles almost constantly tensed, powerful biceps showing upon arms that were covered with a growth of thick black hair; everything about him proclaimed strength and good health; his face was animated¹², his gaze ardent¹³, his eyes small, black, and wicked, there were splendid white teeth in his mouth, and liveliness in his every feature; his height was above average, and this man's amatory goad¹⁴, which I was to have but too frequent occasion to see and feel, was roughly a foot long and above eight inches around. This incisive¹⁵, nervous, constantly alerted and oozing¹⁶ instrument, ribboned with great purple veins¹⁷ that rendered its aspect still more formidable, was levitated¹⁸ throughout the seance, which lasted five or six hours; never once did it sink or falter¹⁹. I had never before or since found a more hirsute²⁰ man: he resembled those fauns described in fables²¹. His powerful hands ended in fingers whose strength was that of a vice²²; as for his character, it seemed to me harsh, abrupt²³, cruel, his mind was inclined to that sarcasm²⁴ and teasing of a sort calculated to redouble the sufferings one was perfectly²⁵ well able to see one had to expect such a man would strive to inflict²⁶.

 

The little Lyonnaise was called Eulalie. A glimpse of her was enough to convince one of her distinguished²⁷ birth and virtue²⁸: she was the daughter of one of the City's foremost families from whose house Dubois' criminal hirelings had abducted²⁹ her under the pretext³⁰ of conveying her to a rendezvous³¹ with the lover she idolized; together with an enchanting³² forthrightness³³ and naivete, she possessed³⁴ one of the most delightful³⁵ countenances³⁶ imaginable. Barely sixteen years old, Eulalie had the face of a genuine Madonna; her features were embellished³⁷ by an enviable innocence³⁸ and modesty³⁹; she had little color but was only the more fetching for that; and the sparkle in her superb eyes endowed her pretty face with all the fire and warmth whereof, at first glance, this pallor seemed to deprive her; her rather generous mouth was filled with the prettiest teeth, her already fully⁴⁰ matured breasts seemed yet whiter than her complexion⁴¹; but she was no sense lacking in plumpness: her form was round and well furnished, all her flesh was firm, sweet, and succulent. Dubois asserted it were impossible to behold⁴² a more beautiful ass⁶: little expert in these matters, you will permit me to abstain⁴³ from judging here. A fine mossy growth shadowed her fore⁹ end; majestic⁴⁴ blond hair floated about all those charms, rendering⁴⁵ them still more piquant⁴⁶; and to complete the masterpiece, Nature, who seemed to have created it for pleasure, had endowed her with the sweetest and most lovable temperament⁴⁷. Tender and delicate flower, thus were you to grace the world for but an instant in order more swiftly to be withered⁴⁸!

 

"Oh, Madame!" she said upon recognizing Dubois, "is it in this way you have deceived me !... Just Heaven! where have you brought me ?"

 

"You shall see, my child," put in the master of the house, abruptly⁴⁹ seizing Eulalie, drawing her to him and forthwith beginning his kisses while, upon his orders, I excited him with one hand.

 

Eulalie sought to protect herself, but, thrusting the girl toward the libertine⁴, Dubois eliminated all possibility of her escape. The sitting was long; for very fresh, new-blown was that flower, and the hornet's desire to drain its pollen⁵⁰ was commensurately great. His iterated suckings were succeeded by an inspection⁵¹ of Eulalie's neck; betimes, I palpated his member and felt it throb⁵² with growing insistence⁵³.

 

"Well," said Monseigneur, "here are two victims who shall fill my cup of joy to overflowing⁵⁴: Dubois, you shall be well paid, for I am well served. Let's move into my boudoir; follow us, dear woman, come," he continued as he led us away; "you'll leave tonight, but I need you for the party."

 

Dubois resigns herself, and we pass into the debauchee's pleasure chamber⁵⁶, where we are stripped naked.

 

Oh, Madame, I shall not attempt to represent the infamies⁵⁷ of which I was at once victim and witness. This monster's pleasures were those of the executioner; his unique joy consisted in decapitating. My luckless companion... oh, no! Madame... no! do not require me to finish... I was about to share her fate; spurred on by Dubois, the villain⁵⁸ had decided⁵⁹ to render my torture yet more horrible when both experienced a need to revive their strength; whereupon they sat down to eat.... What a debauch⁵⁵! But ought I complain? for did it not save my life? Besotted with wine, exhausted⁶⁰ by overeating, both fell dead drunk and slumbered⁶¹ amidst the litter that remained from their feast. No sooner do I see them collapse⁶² than I leap to the skirt and mantle⁶³ Dubois had just removed in order to appear more immodest in her patron's view; I snatch up a candle and spring toward the stairway: this house, divested⁶⁴, or nearly so, of servants, contains nothing to frustrate⁶⁵ my escape, I do encounter someone, I put on a terrified air and cry to him to make all haste to relieve his master who is dying, and I reach the door without meeting further obstacles. I have no acquaintance with the roads, I'd not been allowed to see the one whereby we had come, I take the first I see... 'tis the one leading to Grenoble; there is nothing denied us when fortune deigns⁶⁶ momentarily to smile upon us; at the inn everyone was still abed, I enter secretly and fly to Valbois' room, knock, Valbois wakes and scarcely recognizes me in my disordered state; he demands to know what has befallen me, I relate the horrors whereof I was simultaneously⁶⁷ an observer and object.

 

"You can have Dubois arrested," I tell him, "she's not far from here, I might even be able to point out the way.... Quite apart from all her other crimes, the wretch⁶⁸ has taken both my clothing and the five louis you gave me."

 

"O Therese," says Valbois, "there's no denying it, you are without doubt the unluckiest girl on earth, but, nevertheless, my honest creature, do you not perceive, amidst all these afflictions which beset⁶⁹ you, a celestial⁷⁰ arm that saves you? may that be unto you as one additional motive⁷¹ for perpetual virtuousness⁷³, for never do good deeds go unrewarded. We will not chase after Dubois, my reasons for letting her go in peace are the same you expounded⁷⁴ yesterday, let us simply repair the harm she has done you: here, first of all, is the money she stole from you. In an hour's time I'll have a seamstress bring two complete outfits⁷⁵ for you, and some linen⁷⁶.

 

"But you have got to leave, Therese, you must leave this very day, Bertrand expects you, I've persuaded her to delay her departure a few hours more, join her...."

 

"O virtuous⁷² young man," I cried, falling into my benefactor's arms, "may Heaven someday repay you for the kindness you have done me."

 

"Ah, Therese," said Valbois, embracing me, "the happiness you wish me... I've enjoyed it already, 'tis presently mine, since your own is my doing... fare thee well."

 

And thus it was I left Grenoble, Madame, and though I had not found in that city all the felicity I had imagined was awaiting me there, at least I had never met in another so many kindly⁷⁷ and goodhearted people assembled to sympathize with or assuage⁷⁸ my woes⁷⁹.

 

My conductress and I were in a small covered carriage drawn⁸⁰ by one horse we drove from within; we had with us, beside Madame Bertrand's baggage, her baby girl of fifteen months whom she was still suckling and for whom I straightway, to my vast misfortune, formed an attachment⁸¹ quite as deep as was that of the mother who had brought the infant into the world.

 

She was, this Bertrand, an unattractive person, suspicious, gossipy, noisy, monotonous⁸², and dull-witted. Every night we regularly emptied the carriage and transported everything into our inn and then went to sleep in the same room. Until Lyon, everything went along very smoothly⁸³, but during the three days this woman needed for her business dealings, I fell upon someone I was far from expecting to encounter in that city.

 

Together with girls from the hotel whom I had got to accompany me, I would take walks on the Rhone quay⁸⁴; one day I all of a sudden espied⁸⁵ the Reverend Father Antonin formerly⁸⁶ of Saint Mary-in-the-Wood, now superior in charge of his order's establishment located in that city. That monk⁸⁷ accosted⁸⁸ me and after rebuking⁸⁹ me in a very low and still sharper tone for my flight, and having given me to understand I would be running great risks of recapture were he to relay information to the Burgundian monastery⁹⁰, he added, softening⁹¹ his manner, that he would not breathe a word if I should be willing that very instant to come to visit him in his new quarters and to bring with me the girl I was with, who struck him as worth having; then repeating his proposal aloud, and to this other creature: "We shall reward you handsomely, both of you," quoth the monster; "there are ten of us in our house, and I promise you a minimum of one louis from each if your complacency is unlimited⁹²." I flush crimson⁹³ upon hearing these words; I spend a moment trying to convince the monk he has made a mistake; failing at that, I attempt to use signs to induce him to be silent, but nothing prevails with this insolent⁹⁴ fellow, and his solicitations become only the more heated; at last having received repeated refusals, he demands to know our address; in order to get rid of him, I immediately give a fictitious⁹⁵ one, he writes it down, and leaves us with the assurance we will soon meet again.

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