Justine 淑女的眼泪 Chapter 61

"What with our skill at making the evidence of our cruelties disappear, the ladies who would like to lodge³ complaints against us must have the devil's own time getting themselves believed, eh, Therese?" says Cardoville. "What proofs do you fancy could be presented to support an accusation⁴ ?"

 

"Oh," Saint-Florent interrupts, "the charming Therese is in no condition to level charges; on the eve of being immolated⁵ herself, we ought to expect nothing but prayers from her."

 

"Well, she'd be ill-advised to undertake the one or the other," Cardoville replies; "she might inculpate⁶ us; but would she be heard? I doubt it; our consequence and eminent⁷ stations in this city would scarcely allow anyone to notice suits which, anyhow, always come before us and whereof we are at all times the masters. Her final torture would simply be made crueler and more prolonged. Therese must surely sense we have amused ourselves with her person for the natural, common, and uncomplex reason which engages might to abuse feebleness; she must surely sense she can-not escape her sentence, that it must be undergone, that she will undergo it, that it would be in vain she might divulge⁸ this evening's absence from jail; she'd not be believed; the jailer for he's ours would deny it at once. And so may this lovely and gentle girl, so penetrated⁹ with the grandeur¹⁰ of Providence¹¹, peacefully offer up to Heaven all she has just suffered and all that yet awaits her; these will be as so many expiations for the frightful¹³ crimes which deliver her into the hands of the law; put on your clothes, Therese, day is not yet come, the two men who brought you hither are going to conduct you back to your prison."

 

I wanted to say a word, I wanted to cast myself a suppliant¹⁴ at these ogres' feet, either to unbend their hearts, or ask that their hands smite¹⁵ away my life. But I am dragged off, pitched into a cab, and my two guides climb in after me; we had hardly started off when infamous¹⁶ desires inflamed¹⁷ them again.

 

"Hold her for me," quoth Julien to La Rose, "I simply must sodomize her; I have never laid eyes on a behind which could squeeze me so voluptuously¹⁸; I'll render you the same service."

 

There is nothing I can do to defend myself, the project is executed, Julien triumphs, and it is not without atrocious agonies I sustain this newest attack: the assailant's exorbitant¹⁹ bulk, the lacerated condition of those parts, the fire with which that accursed ball had devoured²⁰ my intestines²¹, everything combined to make me suffer tortures which La Rose renewed immediately his companion was finished. Before arriving I was thus yet another time victim of those wretched valets' criminal libertinage²²; we reached our destination at last. The jailer greeted us, he was alone, it was still night, no one saw me enter.

 

"Go to sleep, Therese," said he, restoring me to my cell, "and if ever you wish to tell, it makes no difference whom, that on this night you left prison, remember that I will contradict you, and that this useless accusation will get you nowhere...."

 

And, said I to myself when I was left alone, I should regret departing this world! I should dread²³ to leave a universe freighted with such monsters! Ah! were the hand of God to snatch me from their clutches at whatever instant and in whatever manner He sees fit! why! I'd complain no more; the unique consolation²⁴ which may remain to the luckless one bred up in this den² of savage²⁵ beasts, his one comfort is the hope of leaving it soon.

 

The next day I heard nothing and resolved to abandon myself to Providence, I languished²⁶ and would touch no food. The day after that, Cardoville came to question me; I could not repress a shudder²⁷ upon beholding²⁸ the nonchalance²⁹ wherewith that scoundrel walked in to execute his judiciary duties he, Cardoville, the most villainous of mortals, he who, contrary to every article of the justice in which he was cloaked, had just so cruelly abused my innocence³¹ and exploited my misery³²; it was in vain I pled my cause, the dishonest man's artfulness devised more crimes than I could invent defenses; when all the charges had been well established in the view of this iniquitous³³ judge, and when the case was made, he had the impudence³⁴ to ask me whether I knew in Lyon one Monsieur de Saint-Florent, a wealthy and estimable citizen; I answered that I knew him, yes.

 

"Excellent," said Cardoville, "no more is needed. This Monsieur de Saint-Florent, whom you declare you know, also has a perfect knowledge of you; he has deposed³⁵ that he saw you in a band of thieves, that you were the first to steal his money and his pocket- book. He further deposes³⁶ that your comrades wished to spare his life, that you recommended they take it from him; nevertheless, he managed to escape. Saint-Florent adds that, several years later, having recognized you in Lyon, he yielded to your importunings and permitted you to come to pay him a call at his home upon condition you would give him your word to behave well in future and that, while he was delivering a lecture on manners to you, while he was seeking to persuade you to persist along the paths of righteousness, you carried insolence³⁷ and crime to the point of choosing these moments of kindness to steal a watch and one hundred louis he had left lying upon the mantel...."

 

And, profiting from the resentment³⁸ and anger such atrocious calumnies³⁹ provoked in me, Cardoville ordered the court clerk to write that my silence and my facial expressions were ample acknowledgment of my guilt⁴⁰ and were tantamount to a confession⁴¹.

 

I threw myself upon the ground, I made the walls resound⁴² with my cries, I struck my head against the stone floor, hoping to obtain a speedier death, unable to find vehicles to give expression to my rage: "Villain³⁰!" I screamed, "I put my faith in the God of Justice who will revenge me for your crimes; He shall cry out innocence, He shall make you repent⁴³ your disgraceful abuse of the authority vested in you!" Cardoville rings and tells the jailer to take me away, I appear, says he, to be unsettled by despair and remorse⁴⁴ and, at any rate, in no state to follow the interrogation; "But, on the other hand, what remains⁴⁵ to be asked or said? The dossier is complete; she has confessed to all her crimes." And the villain leaves peacefully I And divine lightning strikes him not!

 

The case was tried in short order; motivated and directed by hatred⁴⁶, vengeance⁴⁷, and lust⁴⁸, the court promptly⁴⁹ condemned⁵⁰ me and I was dispatched to Paris for the confirmation⁵¹ of my sentence. While on this fatal journey, which, though guiltless, I made in the character of the last of criminals, the most bitter and the most dolorous⁵² thoughts gathered in my head and completed the desolation of my heart. Under what doom⁵³-spelling star must I have been born, I wondered, in order that I be utterly⁵⁴ incapable⁵⁵ of conceiving a single generous sentiment without immediately being drowned in a sea of misfortunes! And why is it that this enlightened Providence whose justice I am pleased to worship, the while punishing me for my virtues⁵⁶, simultaneously⁵⁷ shows me those who crush me with their crimes carried to the pinnacle⁵⁸ of happiness!

 

During my childhood I meet a usurer; he seeks to induce me to commit a theft, I refuse, he becomes rich. I fall amongst a band of thieves, I escape from them with a man whose life I save; by way of thanks, he rapes⁵⁹ me. I reach the property of an aristocratic debauchee who has me set upon and devoured by his dogs for not having wanted to poison his aunt. From there I go to the home of a murderous and incestuous surgeon whom I strive to spare from doing a horrible deed: the butcher brands me for a criminal; he doubtless consummates⁶⁰ his atrocities⁶¹, makes his fortune, whilst I am obliged to beg for my bread. I wish to have the sacraments made available to me, I wish fervently⁶² to implore⁶³ the Supreme⁶⁴ Being whence howbeit I receive so many ills, and the august tribunal, at which I hope to find purification in our most holy mysteries, becomes the bloody⁶⁵ theater of my ignominy: the monster who abuses and plunders⁶⁶ me is elevated to his order's highest honors and I fall back into the appalling⁶⁷ abyss of misery. I attempt to preserve a woman from her husband's fury, the cruel one wishes to put me to death by draining away my blood drop by drop. I wish to relieve a poor woman, she robs me. I give aid to a man whom adversaries⁶⁸ have struck down and left unconscious, the thankless creature makes me turn a wheel like an animal; he hangs me for his pleasure's sake; all fortune's blessings⁶⁹ accrue⁷⁰ to him, and I come within an ace¹² of dying on the gallows⁷¹ for having been compelled to work for him. An unworthy woman seeks to seduce⁷² me for a new crime, a second time I lose the little I own in order to rescue her victim's treasure. A gentleman, a kind spirit wishes to compensate⁷³ me for all my sufferings by the offer of his hand, he dies in my arms before being able to do anything for me. I risk my life in a fire in order to snatch a child, who does not belong to me, from the flames; the infant's mother accuses and launches legal proceedings⁷⁴ against me. I fall into my most mortal enemy's hands; she wishes to carry me off by force and take me to a man whose passion is to cut off heads: if I avoid that villain's sword it is so that I can trip and fall under Themis'. I implore the protection of a man whose life and fortune I once saved; I dare expect gratitude⁷⁵ from him, he lures⁷⁶ me to his house, he submits me to horrors, and there I find the iniquitous judge upon whom my case depends; both abuse me, both outrage⁷⁷ me, both accelerate my doom; fortune overwhelms them with favors, I hasten on to death.

 

That is what I have received from mankind, that is what I have learned of the danger of trafficking with men; is it any wonder that my soul, stung, whipsawed by unhappiness, revolted by outrage and injustice⁷⁸, aspires⁷⁹ to nothing more than bursting from its mortal confines ?

 

A thousand pardons, Madame, said this unlucky girl, terminating her adventures at this point; a thousand times over I ask to be forgiven for having sullied your spirit with such a host of obscenities, for having, in a word, so long abused your patience. I have, perhaps, offended Heaven with impure⁸⁰ recitals⁸¹, I have laid open my old wounds, I have disturbed your ease and rest; farewell, Madame, Godspeed; the Star rises above the horizon, I hear my guards summon me to come, let me run on to meet my destiny, I fear it no more, 'twill abridge⁸² my torment⁸³: this last mortal instant is dreaded⁸⁴ only by the favored being whose days have passed un-clouded; but the wretched creature who has breathed naught⁸⁵ but the venomous effluvia of reptiles⁸⁶, whose tottering⁸⁷ feet have trod only upon nettles⁸⁸, who has never beheld⁸⁹ the torch of dawn save with feelings like unto those of the lost traveler who, trembling, perceives the thunderbolt's forked track; she from whom cruel accident has snatched away parents, all kin¹, friends, fortune, protection, aid; she who in all this world has nothing more than tears to quench⁹⁰ her thirst and for sustenance⁹¹ her tribulations⁹²; she, I say, undismayed sees death advance, she even yearns⁹³ for it as for a safe haven⁹⁴, a port wherein tranquillity⁹⁵ will be born again unto her when she is clasped to the breast of a God too just to permit that innocence, defiled⁹⁶ and ground under the heel on earth, may not find recompense for so many evils in another world.

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