Joke: Immorality

The Catholic priest in a small town had become very
perturbed¹, and he decided² to lay it on the line to
the congregation.

"Brothers and sisters," he said solemnly. "It has come
to my attention that immorality³ is rampant⁴ in our fair
town. To be specific, it is being said there is not
one virgin⁵ left. This vile⁶ lie must and shall be refuted.
In order to do so, I ask every virgin in the congregation
to rise."

Not a woman stirred.

"I understand the modesty⁷ that would make a young lady
hesitate to announce her condition publicly," the priest
intoned. "But it is necessary to do so. Young women, I
ask those who are truly virgins⁸ to rise."

And still not a woman stirred.

Wrath⁹ now moved the priest. "Will you, for the fear of
experiencing a small shame, incur¹⁰ a great one? I ask you
in the name of Mother Mary herself. Let all virgins stand!"

And as his thunderous tones died away, a young lady, far
in the rear, with a baby in her arms, rose bashfully.

The preacher stared with astonishment¹¹ at her. "Young woman,
I have asked for virgins to stand."

"Father," the young lady answered indignantly, "do you
really expect this six-month-old child to stand by herself?"