The art of living

What is it like to be old in the United States? What will our own lives be like when we are old? Americans find it difficult to think about old age until they are propelled into the midst of it by their own aging and that of relatives and friends. Aging is the neglected stepchild of the human life cycle. Though we have begun to examine the socially taboo¹ subjects of dying and death, we have leaped over that long period of time preceding death known as old age. In truth, it is easier to manage the problems of death than the problem of living as an old person. Death is a dramatic, one-time crisis while old age is a day-by-day and year-by-year confrontation² with powerful external forces, a bittersweet coming to terms with one's own personality and one's life.

 

Old age is neither inherently miserable³ nor inherently sublime-like every stage of life it has problems, joys, fears and potentials. The process of aging and eventual⁴ death must ultimately be accepted as the natural progression of the life cycle, the old completing their prescribed life spans and making way for the young. Much that is unique in old age in fact derives⁵ from the reality of aging and the imminence⁶ of death. The old must clarify and find use for what they have attained⁷ in a lifetime of learning and adapting they must conserve⁸ strength and resources where necessary and adjust creatively to those changes and losses that occur as part of the aging experience. The elderly have the potential for qualities of human reflection and observation which can only come from having lived an entire life span. There is a lifetime accumulation of personality and experience which is available to be used and enjoyed.

 

But what are an individual's chances for a "good" old age in America, with satisfying final years and a dignified⁹ death? Unfortunately , none too good. For many elderly Americans old age is a tragedy, a period of quiet despair, deprivation¹⁰ , desolation and muted rage. This can be a consequence of the kind of life a person has led in younger years and the problems in his or her relationships with others. There are also inevitable¹¹ personal and physical losses to be sustained, some of which can become overwhelming and unbearable¹². All of this is the individual factor, the existential element. But old age is frequently a tragedy even when the early years have been fulfilling and people seemingly have everything going for them. Herein lies what I consider to be the genuine tragedy of old age in America -- we have shaped a society which is extremely harsh to live in when one is old. The tragedy of old age is not the fact that each of us must grow old and die but that the process of doing so has been made unnecessarily and at times excruciatingly painful, humiliating, debilitating¹³ and isolating¹⁴ through insensitivity, ignorance and poverty. The potentials for satisfactions and even triumphs in late life are real and vastly under explored. For the most part the elderly struggle to exist in an inhospitable world.

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