Justine 淑女的眼泪 Chapter 19

"Dear Heaven!" I said to Rosalie when this appalling¹ drama came to its end, "how is one able to surrender oneself to such excesses? How can one find pleasure in the torments² one inflicts³ ?"

 

"Ah," replied Rosalie, "you do not know everything. Listen," she said, leading me back into her room, "what you have seen has perhaps enabled you to understand that when my father discovers some aptitudes⁴ in his young pupils, he carries his horrors much further, he abuses the girls in the same manner he deals with the boys." Rosalie spoke⁵ of that criminal manner of conjugation whereof I myself had believed I might be the victim with the brigands⁶' captain into whose hands I had fallen after my escape from the Conciergerie, and by which I had been soiled by the merchant from Lyon. "By this means," Rosalie continued, "the girls are not in the least dishonored, there are no pregnancies⁷ to fear, and nothing prevents them from finding a husband; not a year goes by without his corrupting⁸ nearly all the boys in this way, and at least half the other children. Of the fourteen girls you have seen, eight have already been spoiled by these methods, and he has taken his pleasure with nine of the boys; the two women who serve him are submitted to the same horrors.... O Therese! " Rosalie added, casting herself into my arms, "O dear girl, and I too, yes I, he seduced⁹ me in my earliest years; I was barely eleven when I became his victim... when, alas¹⁰! I was unable to defend myself against him."

 

"But Mademoiselle," I interrupted, horrified¹¹, "at least Religion remained to you... were you unable to consult a confessor and avow¹² everything?"

 

"Oh, you do not know that as he proceeds to pervert¹³ us he stifles¹⁴ in each of us the very seeds of belief, he forbids us all religious devotions, and, furthermore, could I have done so ? he had instructed me scarcely at all. The little he had said pertaining¹⁵ to these matters had been motivated by the fear that my ignorance might betray his impiety¹⁶. But I had never been to confession¹⁷, I had not made my First Communion; so deftly¹⁸ did he cover all these things with ridicule¹⁹ and insinuate²⁰ his poisonous self into even our smallest ideas, that he banished²¹ forever all their duties out of them whom he suborned; or if they are compelled by their families to fulfill²² their religious duties, they do so with such tepidness²³, with such complete indifference²⁴, that he has nothing to fear from their indiscretion; but convince yourself, Therese, let your own eyes persuade you," she continued, very quickly drawing me back into the closet whence we had emerged; "come hither: that room where he chastises²⁶ his students is the same wherein he enjoys us; the lessons are over now, it is the hour when, warmed by the preliminaries, he is going to compensate²⁷ himself for the restraint his prudence²⁸ sometimes imposes upon him; go back to where you were, dear girl, and with your own eyes behold²⁹ it all."

 

However slight my curiosity concerning these new abominations, it was by far the better course to leap back into the closet rather than have myself surprised with Rosalie during the classes; Rodin would without question have become suspicious. And so I took my place; scarcely was I at it when Rodin enters his daughter's room, he leads her into the other, the two women of the house arrive; and thereupon the impudicious Rodin, all restraints upon his behavior removed, free to indulge his fancies to the full, gives himself over in a leisurely³⁰ fashion and undisguisedly to committing all the irregularities of debauchery. The two peasants, completely nude³¹, are flogged with exceeding violence; while he plies³² his whip upon the one the other pays him back in kind, and during the intervals³³ when he pauses for rest, he smothers³⁴ with the most uninhibited, the most disgusting caresses³⁵, the same altar in Rosalie who, elevated upon an armchair, slightly bent³⁶ over, presents it to him; at last, there comes this poor creature's turn: Rodin ties her to the stake as he tied his scholars, and while one after another and sometimes both at once his domestics flay³⁷ him, he beats his daughter, lashes³⁸ her from her ribs³⁹ to her knees, utterly⁴⁰ transported by pleasure. His agitation⁴¹ is extreme: he shouts, he blasphemes, he flagellates: his thongs⁴² bite deep everywhere, and wherever they fall, there immediately he presses his lips. Both the interior of the altar and his victim's mouth... everything, the before-end excepted, everything is devoured⁴³ by his suckings; without changing the disposition⁴⁴ of the others, contenting himself with rendering⁴⁵ it more propitious⁴⁶, Rodin by and by penetrates⁴⁷ into pleasure's narrow asylum⁴⁸; meanwhile, the same throne is offered by the governess to his kisses, the other girl beats him with all her remaining strength, Rodin is in seventh heaven, he thrusts, he splits, he tears, a thousand kisses, one more passionate⁴⁹ than the other, express his ardor⁵⁰, he kisses whatever is presented to his lust⁵¹: the bomb bursts and the libertine⁵² besotted dares taste the sweetest of delights in the sink of incest and infamy⁵³...

 

Rodin sat down to dine; after such exploits he was in need of restoratives. That afternoon there were more lessons and further corrections, I could have observed new scenes had I desired, but I had seen enough to convince myself and to settle upon a reply to make to this villain's offers. The time for giving it approached. Two days after the events I have described, he himself came to my room to ask for it. He surprised me in bed. By employing the excuse of looking to see whether any traces of my wounds remained, he obtained the right, which I was unable to dispute, of performing an examination upon me, naked, and as he had done the same thing twice a day for a month and had never given any offense⁵⁴ to my modesty⁵⁵ I did not think myself able to resist. But this time Rodin had other plans; when he reaches the object of his worship, he locks his thighs⁵⁶ about my waist and squeezes with such force that I find myself, so to speak, quite defenseless.

 

"Therese," says he, the while moving his hands about in such a manner as to erase⁵⁷ all doubt of his intents, "you are fully⁵⁸ recovered, my dear, and now you can give me evidence of the gratitude⁵⁹ with which I have beheld⁶⁰ your heart overflowing⁶¹; nothing simpler than the form your thanks would take; I need nothing beyond this," the traitor⁶² continued, binding⁶³ me with all the strength at his command. "...Yes, this will do, merely this, here is my recompense, I never demand anything else from women... but," he continued, " 'tis one of the most splendid I have seen in all my life... What roundness, fullness!... unusual elasticity⁶⁴!... what exquisite⁶⁵ quality in the skin!... Oh my! I absolutely must put this to use...."

 

Whereupon Rodin, apparently⁶⁶ already prepared to put his projects into execution, is obliged, in order to proceed to the next stage, to relax his grip for a moment; I seize my opportunity and extricating⁶⁷ myself from his clutches,

 

"Monsieur," I say, "I beg you to be well persuaded that there is nothing in the entire world which could engage me to consent to the horrors you seem to wish to commit. My gratitude is due to you, indeed it is, but I will not pay my debt in a criminal coin. Needless to say, I am poor and most unfortunate; but no matter; here is the small sum of money I possess," I continue, producing my meager⁶⁸ purse, "take what you esteem⁶⁹ just and allow me to leave this house, I beg of you, as soon as I am in a fitting state to go."

 

Rodin, confounded by the opposition⁷⁰ he little expected from a girl devoid⁷¹ of means and whom, according to an injustice⁷² very ordinary amongst men, he supposed dishonest by the simple fact she was sunk in poverty; Rodin, I say, gazed at me attentively⁷³.

 

"Therese," he resumed after a minute's silence, "Therese, it is hardly appropriate for you to play the virgin⁷⁴ with me; I have, so it would seem to me, some right to your complaisance⁷⁵; but, however, it makes little difference: keep your silver but don't leave me. I am highly pleased to have a well-behaved girl in my house, the conduct of these others I have about me being far from impeccable... Since you show yourself so virtuous⁷⁶ in this instance, you will be equally so, I trust, in every other. My interests would benefit therefrom; my daughter is fond of you, just a short while ago she came and begged me to persuade you not to go; and so rest with us, if you will, I invite you to remain."

 

"Monsieur," I replied, "I should not be happy here; the two women who serve you aspire⁷⁷ to all the affection you are able to give them; they will not behold me without jealousy⁷⁸, and sooner or later I will be forced to leave you."

 

"Be not apprehensive," Rodin answered, "fear none of the effects of these women's envy, I shall be quite capable of keeping them in their place by maintaining you in yours, and you alone will possess my confidence without any resultant danger to yourself. But in order to continue to deserve it, I believe it would be well for you to know that the first quality, the foremost, I require in you, Therese, is an unassailable discretion²⁵. Many things take place here, many which do not sort with your virtuous principles; you must be able to witness everything, hear all and never speak a syllable⁷⁹ of it.... Ah, Therese, remain with me, stay here, Therese, my child, it will be a joy to have you; in the midst of the many vices⁸⁰ to which I am driven by a fiery⁸¹ temper, an unrestrainable imagination and a much rotted heart, at least I will have the comfort of a virtuous being dwelling⁸² close by, and upon whose breast I shall be able to cast myself as at the feet of a God when, glutted⁸³ by my debauches, I..." "Oh Heaven!" I did think at this moment, "then Virtue⁸⁴ is necessary, it is then indispensable to man, since even the vicious one is obliged to find reassurance⁸⁵ in it and make use of it as of a shelter." And then, recollecting⁸⁶ Rosalie's requests that I not leave her, and thinking to discern some good principles in Rodin, I resolved to stay with him.

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