Justine 淑女的眼泪 Chapter 22

"Ha!" said Rombeau, full of enthusiasm for these appalling¹ maxims², "I applaud you, my dear fellow, your wisdom enchants³ me, but your indifference⁴ is astonishing; I thought you were amorous⁵ -"

 

"I? in love with a girl?... Ah, Rombeau! I supposed you knew me better; I employ those creatures when I have nothing better to hand: the extreme penchant⁶ I have for pleasures of the variety you have watched me taste makes very precious to me all the temples at which this sort of incense⁷ can be offered, and to multiply my devotions, I sometimes assimilate a little girl into a pretty little boy; but should one of these female personages unhappily nourish my illusion for too long, my disgust becomes energetically manifest, and I have never found but one means to satisfy it deliciously... you understand me, Rombeau; Chilperic, the most voluptuous⁸ of France's kings, held the same views. His boisterous⁹ organ proclaimed aloud that in an emergency one could make use of a woman, but upon the express condition one exterminated¹⁰ her immediately one had done with her.

 

( Cf. a work entitled `The Jesuits in Fine Fettle')

 

For five years this little wench has been serving my pleasures; the time has come for her to pay for my loss of interest by the loss of her existence."

 

The meal ended; from those two madmen's behavior, from their words, their actions, their preparations, from their very state, which bordered upon delirium¹¹, I was very well able to see that there was not a moment to be lost, and that the hour of the unhappy Rosalie's destruction had been fixed¹² for that evening. I rushed to the cellar, resolved to deliver her or die.

 

"O dear friend," I cried, "there is not an instant to waste... the monsters ... it is to be tonight ... they are going to come...."

 

And upon saying that, I make the most violent efforts to batter¹³ down the door. One of my blows dislodges something, I reach out my hand, it is the key, I seize it, I hasten to open the door... I embrace Rosalie, I urge her to fly, I promise to follow her, she springs forward... Just Heaven! It was again decreed that Virtue¹⁴ was to succumb¹⁵, and that sentiments of the tenderest commiseration¹⁶ were going to be brutally¹⁷ punished; lit by the governess, Rodin and Rombeau appeared of a sudden, the former grasped his daughter the instant she crossed the threshold of the door beyond which, a few steps away, lay deliverance.

 

"Ah, wretch¹⁸, where are you going?" Rodin shouts, bringing her to a halt while Rombeau lays hands upon me.... "Why," he continues, glancing at me, "here's the rascal¹⁹ who has encouraged your flight! Therese, now we behold²⁰ the results of your great virtuous²¹ principles... the kidnapping of a daughter from her father!"

 

"Certainly," was my steadfast²² reply, "and I must do so when that father is so barbarous as to plot against his daughter's life."

 

"Well, well! Espionage²³ and seduction," Rodin pursued; "all a servant's most dangerous vices²⁴; upstairs, up with you, I say, the case requires to be judged."

 

Dragged by the two villains²⁵, Rosalie and I are brought back to the apartments; the doors are bolted. The unlucky daughter of Rodin is tied to the posts of a bed, and those two demoniacs turn all their rage upon me, their language is of the most violent, the sentence pronounced upon me appalling: it is nothing less than a question of a vivisection in order to inspect the beating of my heart, and upon this organ to make observations which cannot practicably be made upon a cadaver²⁶. Meanwhile, I am undressed, and subjected to the most impudicious fondlings.

 

"Before all else," says Rombeau, "my opinion is a stout²⁷ attack ought to be delivered upon the fortress²⁸ your lenient²⁹ proceedings³⁰ have respected.... Why, 'tis superb! do you mark that velvet³¹ texture³², the whiteness of those two half-moons defending the portal! never was there a virgin³³ of such freshness."

 

"Virgin! but so she is, or nearly," says Rodin, "once raped³⁵, and then it was despite her wishes; since then, untouched. Here, let me take the wheel a moment..." and the cruel one added to Rombeau's his homage³⁶ made up of those harsh and savage³⁷ caresses³⁸ which degrade rather than honor the idol³⁹. Had whips been available I should have been cruelly dealt with; whips were indeed mentioned, but none were found, they limited themselves to what the bare hand could achieve; they set me afire... the more I struggled, the more rigidly⁴⁰ I was held; when however I saw them about to undertake more serious matters, I flung myself prostrate⁴¹ before my executioners and offered them my life.

 

"But when you are no longer a virgin," said Rombeau, "what is the difference? What are these qualms⁴²? we are only going to violate you as you have been already and not the least peccadillo⁴³ will sit on your conscience; you will have been vanquished⁴⁴ by force..." and comforting me in this manner, the infamous⁴⁵ one placed me on a couch.

 

"No," spoke⁴⁶ up Rodin, interrupting his colleague's effervescence, of which I was on the brink⁴⁷ of becoming the victim, "no, let's not waste our powers with this creature; remember we cannot further postpone⁴⁸ the operations scheduled for Rosalie, and our vigor⁴⁹ is necessary to carry them out; let's punish this wretch in some other manner."

 

Upon saying which, Rodin put an iron in the fire. "Yes," he went on, "let's punish her a thousand times more than we would were we to take her life, let's brand her; this disgrace, joined to all the sorry business about her body, will get her hanged if she does not first die of hunger; until then she will suffer, and our more prolonged vengeance⁵⁰ will become the more delicious."

 

Wherewith Rombeau seized me, and the abominable⁵¹ Rodin applied⁵² behind my shoulder the red-hot iron with which thieves are marked.

 

"Let her dare appear in public, the whore," the monster continued, exhibiting the ignominious⁵³ letter, "and I'll sufficiently⁵⁴ justify⁵⁵ my reasons for sending her out of the door with such secrecy⁵⁶ and promptitude."

 

They bandage me, dress me, and fortify⁵⁷ me with a few drops of brandy, and under the cover of night the two scientists conduct me to the forest's edge and abandon me cruelly there after once again having sketched⁵⁸ what dangers a recrimination would expose me to were I to dare bring complaint in my present state of disgrace.

 

Anyone else might have been little impressed by the menace; what would I have to fear as soon as I found the means to prove that what I had just suffered had been the work not of a tribunal but of criminals? But my weakness, my natural timidity, the frightful⁵⁹ memory of what I had undergone at Paris and recollections of the chateau⁶⁰ de Bressac it all stunned⁶¹ me, terrified me; I thought only of flight, and was far more stirred by anguish⁶² at having to abandon an innocent victim to those two villains, who were without doubt ready to immolate⁶³ her, than I was touched by my own ills. More irritated, more afflicted⁶⁴ morally than in physical pain, I set off at once; but, completely unoriented, never stopping to ask my way, I did but swing in a circle around Paris and on the fourth day of traveling I found I had got no further than Lieursaint. Knowing this road would lead me to the southern provinces, I resolved to follow it and try to reach those distant regions, fancying to myself that the peace and calm so cruelly denied me in those parts of France where I had grown up were, perhaps, awaiting me in others more remote; fatal error! how much there remained of grief and pain yet to experience.

 

Whatever had been my trials until that time, at least I was in possession of my innocence⁶⁵. Merely the victim of a few monsters' attempts, I was still able to consider myself more or less in the category of an honest girl. The fact was I had never been truly soiled save by a rape³⁴ operated five years earlier, and its traces had healed... a rape consummated⁶⁶ at an instant when my numbed⁶⁷ state had not even left me the faculty⁶⁸ of sensation. Other than that, what was there with which I could reproach myself? Nothing, oh! nothing, doubtless; and my heart was chaste⁶⁹, I was overweeningly proud of it, my presumption⁷⁰ was to be punished; the outrages⁷¹ awaiting me were to be such that in a short while it would no longer be possible, however slight had been my participation⁷², for me to form the same comforting ideas in the depths of my heart.

 

This time I had my entire fortune about me; that is to say, about a hundred crowns, comprising the total of what I had saved from Bressac's clutches and earned from Rodin. In my extreme misery⁷³ I was able to feel glad that this money, at least, had not been taken from me; I flattered myself with the notion that through the frugality⁷⁴, temperance, and economy to which I was accustomed, this sum would amply suffice until I was so situated⁷⁵ as to be able to find a place of some sort. The execration⁷⁶ they had just stamped upon my flesh did not show, I imagined I would always be able to disguise it and that this brand would be no bar to making my living. I was twenty-two years old, in good health, and had a face which, to my sorrow, was the object of eulogies⁷⁷ all too frequent; I possessed⁷⁸ some virtues⁷⁹ which, although they had brought me unremitting injury, nevertheless, as I have just told you, were my whole consolation⁸⁰ and caused me to hope that Heaven would finally grant me, if not rewards, at least some suspension of the evils they had drawn⁸¹ down upon me. Full of hope and courage, I kept my road until I gained Sens, where I rested several days. A week of this and I was entirely⁸² restored; I might perhaps have found work in that city but, penetrated⁸³ by the necessity of getting further away, I resumed my journeying with the design of seeking my fortune in Dauphine; I had heard this province much spoken of, I fancied happiness attended me there, and we are going to see with what success I sought it out.

 

Never, not in a single one of my life's circumstances, had the sentiments of Religion deserted⁸⁴ me. Despising the vain casuistries of strong-headed thinkers, believing them all to emanate⁸⁵ from libertinage⁸⁶ rather than consequent upon firm persuasion⁸⁷, I had dressed my conscience and my heart against them and, by means of the one and the other, I had found what was needed in order to make them stout reply. By my misfortunes often forced to neglect my pious⁸⁸ duties, I would make reparation for these faults whenever I could find the opportunity.

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