Universal Laws of the Office

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings. They did it by killing¹ all those who opposed them.

 

If you can stay calm while all around you there's chaos², then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

 

Doing a job right the first time gets the job done. Doing the job wrong 14 times gives you job security.

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

 

A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat³.

 

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

 

Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.

 

Hang in there, retirement⁴ is only 30 years away!

 

Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent⁵ slacker.

 

A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.

 

When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

 

Indecision is the key to flexibility⁶.

 

Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

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