A Saint's Spelling Bee

A woman who died found herself standing¹ outside the Pearly Gates, being greeted by St. Peter.

 

She asked him, "Oh, is this place what I really think it is? It's so beautiful. Did I really make it to heaven?"

 

To which St. Peter replied, "Yes, my dear, these are the Gates to Heaven. But you must do one more thing before you can enter."

 

The woman was very excited, and asked of St. Peter what she must do to pass through the gates.

 

"Spell a word," St. Peter replied. "What word?" she asked.

 

"Any word," answered St. Peter. "It's your choice." The woman promptly² replied, "Then the word I will spell is love. L-o-v-e."

 

St. Peter congratulated her on her good fortune to have made it to Heaven, and asked her if she would mind taking his place at the gates for a few minutes while he went to the bathroom.

 

"I'd be honored," she said, "but what should I do if someone comes while you are gone?"

 

St. Peter reassured³ her, and instructed the woman to simply have any newcomers to the Pearly Gates to spell a word as she had done.

 

So the woman is left sitting in St. Peter's chair and watching the beautiful angels soaring⁴ around her when a man approaches the gates. She realizes it is her husband.

 

"What happened?" she cried, "Why are you here?"

 

Her husband stared at her for a moment, then said, "I was so drunk⁵ when I left your funeral, I was in an accident. And now I am here? Did I really make it to Heaven?"

 

To which the woman replied, "Not yet. You must spell a word first."

 

"What word?" he asked.

 

The woman responded, "Czechoslovakia."

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