Please Hang Up and Try Again

A man calls home to check in with his wife, to let her know he'll be home early, when suddenly, a strange woman answers.

 

The confused man inquires, ''Who is this?''

 

''This is the maid,'' answers the woman.

 

''We don't have a maid,'' says the man.

 

The woman says, ''I was hired this morning by the lady of the house.''

 

"I told her we didn't need one, " the man muttered under his breath. ''Well, this is her husband. Is she there?''

 

The woman replies, ''She is upstairs in the bedroom with someone...who I thought was her husband.''

 

The man, suddenly realizes what's going on and begins to fume¹. Moments later, he says to the maid, ''Listen, would you like to make $50,000?''

 

The maid hesistates, but answers, ''What do I have to do?''

 

The man explains to her: ''I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with.''

 

The maid pauses for a moment to consider the awful deed and puts the phone down. A minute later, the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots!

 

The maid comes back to the phone breathing heavily, and with a slight quiver in her voice asks, ''What do I do with the bodies?''

 

The man, quite despondent² at this point, replies, ''Throw them in the swimming pool.''

 

Puzzled, the maid answers, ''But you don't have a pool.''

 

A long pause follows.

 

Another long pause.

 

Finally the man asks:

 

''Is this 567-5309?''

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