The Hardest Work You Will Ever Do　最难做的事

时间：2024-03-21 02:23:48

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The Hardest Work You Will Ever Do　最难做的事
◎ Mary Cook
The day my fiance fell to his death, it started to snow, just like any November day, just like the
bottom hadn’t fallen out of my world when he free fell off the roof. His body, when I found it, was
lightly covered with snow. It snowed almost every day for the next four months, while I sat on the
couch and watched it pile up.
One morning, I shuffled1 downstairs and was startled to see a snowplow clearing my driveway
and the bent2 back of a woman shoveling my walk. I dropped to my knees, crawled through the living
room, and back upstairs so those good Samaritans would not see me. I was mortified4. My first
thought was, how would I ever repay them? I didn’t have the strength to brush my hair let alone
shovel3 someone’s walk.
Before Jon’s death, I took pride in the fact that I rarely asked for help or favors. I defined myself
by my competence5 and independence. So who was I if I was no longer capable and busy? How could
I respect myself if all I did was sit on the couch everyday and watch the snow fall?
Learning how to receive the love and support that came my way wasn’t easy. Friends cooked for
me and I cried because I couldn’t even help them set the table. “I’m not usually this lazy.” I wailed6.
Finally, my friend Kathy sat down with me and said, “Mary, cooking for you is not a chore. I love
you and I want to do it. It makes me feel good to be able to do something for you.”
Over and over, I heard similar sentiments from the people who supported me during those dark
days. One very wise man told me, “You are not doing anything. Being fully7 open to your grief may
be the hardest work you will ever do.”
I am not the person I once was, but in many ways I have changed for the better. The fabric8 of
my life is now woven with gratitude9 and humility10. I have been surprised to learn that there is
incredible freedom that comes from facing one’s worst fear and walking away whole. I believe there
is strength in surrender.
我未婚夫去世的那天，天开始下雪，就仿佛是十一月某个普通的一天，就仿佛当他从房
顶上跌下时，我的世界并没有垮塌。当我发现他时，他的身体上已经薄薄地盖上了一层雪
花。之后的四个月，几乎每天都在下雪，而我就坐在沙发上，看着雪一点点堆积起来。
一天早上，我慢吞吞地下楼，却吃惊地看到一台扫雪机正在清扫我的车道，还有一个女
人正弯腰铲去走道上的雪。为了不让外面的好心人看到，我跪在地上，慢慢地爬过客厅，回
到楼上。真是难为情。我的一个想法就是，我怎么报答他们？我情绪低落得连梳头的力气都
没有，更不用说帮别人铲雪了。
琼恩去世之前，我把自己定位成一个独立能干的人，我很少向别人寻求帮助和关心，并
为此而自豪。如果我不再忙碌，不再有能力，那么我是谁？如果我整天只是蜷在沙发上看着
窗外飘落的雪花，我从哪里获得自尊？
学习如何接受别人的爱和帮助并不简单。朋友们为我做饭，我哭了，因为我甚至不能帮
他们摆餐具。“我通常没有这么懒”，我哭着说。最后，我朋友凯西坐在我旁边，安慰我
说：“玛丽，为你做饭不是个苦差事。我爱你，我很愿意这么做。能够帮上忙让我感觉很
好。”
一次又一次，在我人生中黑暗的日子里，那些人用充满感情的话来安慰我。一个很聪明
的人告诉过我：“你并不是无所事事。完全无保留地直面悲伤，这可能是最难做的事。”
我已经不是以前的我，很多方面我都变得更好了。现在，我生命的锦缎是由感恩和谦恭
织成的。我很惊奇地了解到，当你面对自己最痛苦、最可怕的经历，坚强地挺过来，你会感
受到难以置信的自由。我相信，当你直面现实时，你会获得力量。

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点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 shuffled cee46c30b0d1f2d0c136c830230fe75a     
v.洗（纸牌）( shuffle的过去式和过去分词 )；拖着脚步走；粗心地做；摆脱尘世的烦恼
参考例句：
  • He shuffled across the room to the window. 他拖着脚走到房间那头的窗户跟前。
  • Simon shuffled awkwardly towards them. 西蒙笨拙地拖着脚朝他们走去。 来自《简明英汉词典》
2 bent QQ8yD     
n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的
参考例句：
  • He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
  • We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。
3 shovel cELzg     
n.铁锨，铲子，一铲之量；v.铲，铲出
参考例句：
  • He was working with a pick and shovel.他在用镐和铲干活。
  • He seized a shovel and set to.他拿起一把铲就干上了。
4 mortified 0270b705ee76206d7730e7559f53ea31     
v.使受辱( mortify的过去式和过去分词 )；伤害（人的感情）；克制；抑制（肉体、情感等）
参考例句：
  • She was mortified to realize he had heard every word she said. 她意识到自己的每句话都被他听到了，直羞得无地自容。
  • The knowledge of future evils mortified the present felicities. 对未来苦难的了解压抑了目前的喜悦。 来自《简明英汉词典》
5 competence NXGzV     
n.能力，胜任，称职
参考例句：
  • This mess is a poor reflection on his competence.这种混乱情况说明他难当此任。
  • These are matters within the competence of the court.这些是法院权限以内的事。
6 wailed e27902fd534535a9f82ffa06a5b6937a     
v.哭叫，哀号( wail的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
  • She wailed over her father's remains. 她对着父亲的遗体嚎啕大哭。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • The women of the town wailed over the war victims. 城里的妇女为战争的死难者们痛哭。 来自辞典例句
7 fully Gfuzd     
adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地
参考例句：
  • The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。
  • They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。
8 fabric 3hezG     
n.织物，织品，布；构造，结构，组织
参考例句：
  • The fabric will spot easily.这种织品很容易玷污。
  • I don't like the pattern on the fabric.我不喜欢那块布料上的图案。
9 gratitude p6wyS     
adj.感激，感谢
参考例句：
  • I have expressed the depth of my gratitude to him.我向他表示了深切的谢意。
  • She could not help her tears of gratitude rolling down her face.她感激的泪珠禁不住沿着面颊流了下来。
10 humility 8d6zX     
n.谦逊，谦恭
参考例句：
  • Humility often gains more than pride.谦逊往往比骄傲收益更多。
  • His voice was still soft and filled with specious humility.他的声音还是那么温和，甚至有点谦卑。

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