社交场合如何脱身？

How to gracefully¹ and painlessly remove yourself from sticky social situations？How to escape a dull conversation at a party?

如何轻松得体地从那些“粘人”的社交场合中脱身？如何逃离聚会中的无聊谈话?如何结束一场争执？对于这些常见的尴尬处境，本文将教你几招，让你和尴尬说拜拜。

Escape a dull coversation 结束无聊的谈话

At a cocktail² party (assuming you haven’t made the mistake of sitting down with the person), it’s fine to excuse yourself to get a drink or food, help the hostess, or make a phone call. (If you did sit down, employ the same tactics. It’s just a little more awkward having to get up.) To avoid an embarrassing getaway “gotcha,” be sure to follow through on your excuse — that is, get the drink, help the hostess, make a call.

在鸡尾酒会上（假设你还没傻傻地和一个无聊的人一块坐下），如果想抽身，就托辞去拿饮料或食物、帮助女主人或打电话（如果你坐下了，也可以采取同样办法，不过会稍微尴尬一些）。为了不让你在”胜利大逃亡“中被尴尬地逮住，就一定要”说到做到“，即：去拿饮料、帮女主人、打电话。

nother tried-and-true tactic³? Introduce the bore to someone else, excuse yourself, and scram. This way, you avoid leaving the bore stranded⁴, and he becomes someone else’s problem. Who knows? They may hit it off.

有别的切实可行的招数吗？你可以把这无聊的人介绍给别人，然后找个借口赶紧撤！这样就避免了被无聊的人缠身，他成了别人的麻烦。可谁知道呢？说不定那两人会很投机。

Escape a telemarketer  逃离电话营销员

A polite “Thanks, I’m not interested” is your best response to unwanted calls. “The caller will probably come back with a benefit statement or a probing question” — such as Are you aware this will cut your insurance bill in half? — says Kimberly King, president of InterWeave Corporation, a customer-service consulting firm in Tampa. Again, thank the person and hang up. Don’t let her rattle⁶ on, which is a waste of your time and hers. And never explain or volunteer anything. Telemarketers work from a script with responses to common customer objections (called “soft no’s” in the industry). Saying another family member needs to make the decision will only lead to more questions: What time will he be in? Can I call back then? Finally, ask to be taken off the calling list, and wait for the telemarketer to do it before you hang up. That extra minute is worth it.

一句客气的“谢谢，我不感兴趣”是给烦人电话的最好答复。打电话的人大概又会说他/她将给你带来什么样的好处，或者问你这样的问题，比如Kimberly King会问：“你知道吗，这能让你的保险帐单费减半。” Kimberly KingInter是Weave Corporation的总裁，这是一家位于坦帕市的客服咨询公司。你继续说谢谢，然后就挂断电话。别由她叽里呱啦说个不停，浪费你俩的时间。不要做任何解释或自愿做任何事情。电话营销员都采用一个脚本来对付客户通常做出的拒绝（行话叫“软拒绝”）。如果你回答道：这要由家人做决定。那他/她就会穷追不舍，提出更多问题：他什么时候会在家里? 到时候我再打电话好吗？最后，只好要求他/她把你的号码从呼叫单上撤除，并且要求对方撤除后你再挂电话。多花点时间是值得的。

Escape a Stumper 如何对付“提难题的人”

How do you say “I don’t know” without sounding, well, dumb? Especially in a nerve-racking setting, like a job interview? Be direct, says Sue Shellenbarger, a career-advice columnist⁷ at the Wall Street Journal: Just say, “That’s a great question. I’d like to think about it and get back to you.”

要怎样说“我不知道”才能让自己听上去不傻？尤其在一个让人紧张的场合，比如工作面试？华尔街的职业建议专栏作家Sue Shellenbarger的建议是：坦白。只要说：“这个问题很好，我要先考虑一下再回答。”

If you don’t have a good answer because you haven’t been doing your job well, apologize and specify⁸ when you’ll get back on the query⁹; then be sure to do so or you’ll lose credibility. If putting off the question isn’t an option (you’re a keynote speaker at an event; you’re being interviewed on TV), employ the Ted⁵ Kennedy strategy, says Anne Fisher, who writes Ask Annie, a career-advice column for CNNMoney. com: “Say, ‘That’s a good question, but an even more interesting question is.…’” Then talk about what you do know. “It’s worked for Kennedy,” says Fisher. “He’s been elected eight times.”

如果是因为自己的工作一直没做好而找不到一个好的答案，那么就道歉，然后确定何时反馈该问题的结果；然后，一定要说话算话，否则你将会失去信用了。如果不可能推迟回答问题（例如你在演讲或在电视上被采访），Anne Fisher说可以采取Ted Kennedy（肯尼迪总统的弟弟）的策略。Anne Fisher是CNNMoney网站职业建议专栏《问安妮》专栏作家。你可以说“这个问题问得很好，但更有趣的是......” 然后就说你知道的。” Fisher说：“这个办法帮过Kennedy的忙。他赢得八次议员选举。”

Escape a spat¹⁰ with your significant other 如何结束争执

He started it. Well, maybe you did. Either way, you don’t want to talk about it anymore. Do you have to finish what you began? No, says David Ransburg, a therapist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University, in Evanston, Illinois. In fact, you shouldn’t continue until you’re calm. “When we’re in a ‘flooded’ emotional state, access to the part of the brain where logical thinking resides is inhibited¹², and IQ drops noticeably — perhaps by as much as 15 points,” says Ransburg. “This is when we say things we wish we could take back.” So call a time-out. Typically, your logic¹¹ will return in about 20 minutes, at which point you can resume the discussion in a productive way.

刚才是他引发的争吵，嗯，说不定是你。但不管是谁，反正你不想再吵下去了。一定要吵出个究竟才会罢休吗？David Ransburg说：不。David Ransburg是伊利诺斯州Evanston市西北大学家庭学院的一名治疗学家。他说，实际上，在你心情平静前，不应该继续说下去。 Ransburg说：“争吵时，我们都处于一个“头脑发胀“的状态，不理智，智商显著下降了大概15个点，这时候说过的话会让我们后悔”。所以，先暂停。通常，你的逻辑能力会在大约20分钟后恢复，然后以具有成果性的方式进行讨论。

If you can’t call a time-out midspat, practice with tiny disagreements, suggests Ransburg, when you’re both less likely to take things personally。

如果你不能”中场暂停“，Ransburg的建议是，人们用细小的争论来练习，因为此时你们两人较不容易感情用事。