面对烦恼，一笑了之

I'm working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone's project will look different, but it's the rare person who can't benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now.

我正在进行我的“快乐项目”，你也应该有一个！每个人的项目看上去都不同，但是绝大多数人都会从中受益——不需要努力赶超，只要立刻参与。

Everyone says, and it's true, that one of the most effective ways to handle negative emotions is to lighten up. If things are sad, try to find a reason to laugh. If you're angry, joke around. Easier said than done, however.

大家都知道，处理消极情绪最有效方式之一是“放轻松”。如果你悲伤，找一个大笑的理由。如果你生气，去开个玩笑。不过，做比说要难。

I had a chance to keep my resolution to "Make a joke of it" last night. As a consequence of certain marital¹ negotiations² last year (not conducted in the most happiness-boosting way, I must confess), my husband took on the job of dealing³ with my daughter's adventure in orthodontia. The orthodontist's office is right around the corner from his office, and he agreed that he'd schedule the appointments and take her. Which was GREAT!

上周，我有一个机会得以运用“一笑了之”。 按照去年的家庭协议（我得承认，这协议并不是在一片祥和的气氛中签订的），我丈夫负责女儿牙齿矫正术的事项。牙齿校正医生的办公室就在他的办公室拐角，丈夫同意由他安排时间带她去。这真太棒了!

On our flight to Kansas City for the holidays, the Big Girl lost her "functional⁴ applicance" (the new-fangled thing she wears in her mouth, except when she's eating). We looked everywhere on the plane; it was gone. We got back home a week later, and the Big Man didn't call to make an appointment. Days went by. I reminded him periodically⁵, but nothing happened.

在我们去堪萨斯度假的航班上，我千金把她的“设备”（就是她嘴里戴的新鲜玩意，吃东西时得取下来）弄丢了。我们在飞机上四处找遍了还是没有。一周后我们回到家，大男人没有打牙医电话预约。时间一天天过去。我隔一段时间就提醒他，但是他无动于衷。

Whenever I thought about this delay, I became extremely annoyed. Last night, I stomped⁶ into our bedroom ready to turn on my anger at full volume. "This really matters, this is important, she's growing now, what's the point, it's expensive, she'll only have to have braces⁷ longer, you promised you'd do it," etc., etc., etc. Then I thought, "Make a joke of it."

一想起他的拖拉，我就十分恼怒。昨晚，我跺着脚进卧室，准备大发雷霆。“这真的很要紧，很重要，她正在发育，而且，那很贵，她只得再等下去，而你答应过会去做。”等等，等等。可又一想，干脆“一笑了之”。

So I went over, put my arm around the Big Man, and said nicely, “You know what? If you don't call the orthodontist's tomorrow, I'm going to be furious⁸, I'm going to be enraged⁹, I'm going to be beside myself. I'm not threatening, just giving you fair warning.” And I laughed while I said it.

于是我走过去，用手臂搂着他，温柔地说：“你知道吗？如果你明天还不给校正牙医打电话。我会很生气。我会发怒，我不知道会做出什么事情。我可没威胁你，只是给你一个公正的警告”。我边说还一边笑。

"I know, I know!" he said, shaking his head. "I'll send myself an email right now." And he did. And today he made the appointment.

他摇了摇头说：“知道，知道啦！我现在就给自己发一封邮件。” 他还真发了。今天他约好了医生。

I'm not sure if making a joke of it was more effective than getting angry, but I don't think it was less effective. And it was a much nicer way to have that unpleasant exchange. I was happier about it, and the Big Man was happier about it.

我不确定说笑会不会比愤怒更奏效，但是我相信效果不会更差。而且比让人不愉快的交流方式好得多。我对这个方法更满意；大男人也一样。

I used the same technique on myself last weekend. I had a bunch of dreaded¹⁰, dull tasks to take care of. I told myself, "I'm going to clear away a lot of these chores in the next two days. It's going to be the 'Weekend of the Dreaded Tasks'! Like the 'Rodents¹¹ of Unusual Size,' in The Princess Bride." As I groaned¹² to myself as I put away the holiday decorations, organized my address list for our Valentine's cards, finally dealt with the mail that came when we were out of town, and other things too dull to mention, I repeated to myself, "Oh well, this is the Weekend of the Dreaded Tasks." And just making that little joke to myself made it easier to tackle¹³ those tasks.

上周末我对自己采用了相同的方法。我有一堆烦人无聊的事情要做。我对自己说：“我明后两天把这些杂活都做掉。这将是‘恐怖任务周’！就好像The Princess Bride书中的‘超大型啮齿动物’”。我一边自个儿抱怨一边把节日饰物放好、整理情人节卡片的地址、最后处理不在家时收到的邮件，等等，其他的事情我都懒得再提。我反复告诉自己：“好吧，这是恐怖任务周。” 就这样，给自己编一个笑话，事情便更容易处理了。

Of course, I recognize that in neither case when I kept my resolution to "Make a joke of it" was I really funny. My jokes weren't funny at all. But just the attempt to take a humorous attitude made a huge difference.

当然，我承认，在遵守“一笑了之”的决意中，我并不觉得有趣。我的笑话一点也不好笑。但采用一个幽默的态度却能让情况有很大改观。

It's easy to say "make a joke of it," but it's hard to do when you're feeling angry, scared, bored, or upset. Have you found a way to get yourself to make a joke?

说“一笑了之”容易，但是当你感到愤怒、害怕、无聊或烦心的时候要做到很难。你找到了一个让自己开玩笑的方法吗？