怎样提升自尊感

Maybe you've lost your job. Maybe you didn't get the promotion¹ you were hoping for. Maybe your sweetheart broke up with you. People say "Don't take it personally" and "Don't let it get to you," but that's very hard to do.

也许你失业了，也许你没有获得期待中的晋升，也许心上人甩了你。人们说：“别放在心上”、“别让这事影响你”，但是要做到却十分难。

If you're feeling disheartened, what are some strategies for making yourself feel better about yourself? It's pretty clear that repeating "I'm the greatest!" or winning a trophy² along with every other second-grade soccer player isn't a good way to build healthy self-esteem.

如果你这个时侯感到心灰意冷，有没有什么方法让自己感觉好一些? 重复“我是最伟大的！”或去和所有其他二流足球选手踢球来全胜，这些都不是建立健康自尊的好方法。

At the same time, it's a rare person who isn't sometimes – or often – plagued with painful self-doubt. When you're feeling lousy about yourself, what can you do to feel better?

同样，人总会时不时或经常地进行痛苦的自我怀疑。当你觉得自己差劲，有什么方法能让自己感觉好点?

Here's the secret. To build your self-respect…do something worthy³ of your respect. To like yourself better…do something that makes you likable. It's tempting⁴ to think that support and encouragement from other people will reassure⁵ you, but A) often that doesn't work and B) often you can't winkle other people into giving you a pep talk.

下面是秘密。要建立自尊，就去做值得你尊敬的事情。要更喜欢自己，就去做让自己更受人喜欢的事情。人们总容易认为，别人的鼓励和支持能让自己心里踏实，可是A)这往往不奏效，B)你很难诱使别人给你一段鼓励的话语。

Here are some strategies to try:

去尝试一下以下的策略:

1. Do a good deed. This is as selfish as it is selfless; you'll benefit as much as the person you're helping⁶. I had a friend who went through a period of tremendous rejection⁷: she was fired from her job, she didn't get into the graduate program to which she'd applied⁸, and her boyfriend broke up with her. Everything worked out fine in the end, and I asked her how she got through such a tough time. She said, "I was practically addicted⁹ to doing good deeds for other people. It was the only way I could make myself feel like I wasn't a total loser." Along the same lines…

做件好事。即算无私，也算有私；你给予多少，也会收获多少。会和被帮助的人获得一样多的受益。我有一个朋友遭遇了一系列严重失败：她被解雇了；她申请读研失败；她的男友甩了她。可她都挺了过来。我问她是如何渡过这么困难的时期，她说：“我迷上了给别人做好事。这是唯一的方法让我感到自己不是彻底失败者。” 同理...

2. Make small gestures of good citizenship¹⁰. Bring your old magazines to the gym so other people can read them. Offer directions to someone who looks lost. Sign up to be an organ donor¹¹. My current favorite: picking up trash that other people have left on the subway.

好公民的细微姿态。把你的旧杂志送去健身房，让别人也能阅读。给看上去迷路的人指路。报名器官捐献。现在我最喜欢的：捡起别人在地铁仍下的垃圾。

3. Keep a resolution. Not only will you benefit from exercising or cleaning out your garage, you'll also get a boost from the mere¹² fact that you made a commitment and stuck to it.

遵循决意。锻炼或打扫车库让你受益，而制定并坚持决意，这本身也能提升快乐感。

4. Become an expert. There's great satisfaction in mastery. Pick a subject that interests you, and dig in deep: the American Revolution, Photoshop, knife techniques. This can be hard, because learning something new can also make you feel frustrated¹³ and stupid, but if you push through, you'll give yourself a huge boost. Be sure to pick something that honestly engages you: become an expert on The Sopranos, if that sounds enticing¹⁴, but don't decide to learn about wine just because you think other people will be impressed. You're much less likely to stick with it, so you won't benefit as much.

成为专家。成为“大师”有很大满足感。选择一个另你感兴趣的话题，深入挖掘：美国革命、Photoshop、刀法。这往往很难，因为学习新东西会让你感觉到沮丧和笨拙，但是如果你努一把力，就会给自己一个巨大的快乐提升。一定要选择一个真正入迷的东西：如果你喜欢女高音，那么就成为这方面专家，但是不要为了讨好别人而学习红酒。你能坚持的可能性小，给你带来的好处也少。

5. Boost your energy. Studies show that when you're feeling energetic, you're much more likely to feel good about yourself. Most important: get enough sleep. If you need an emergency energy fix, take a quick ten-minute walk (outside, if possible, where sunlight will also stimulate¹⁵ your brain), listen to some great music, or talk to a friend.

养精蓄锐。研究显示，当你精力充沛时，更可能自我感觉良好。最重要一条：保持足够睡眠。如果你需要为精力紧急充电，快步走10分钟（可能的话出去走，阳光会刺激你的头脑)，听好听的音乐，或和朋友聊天。

6. Challenge yourself physically¹⁶. This strategy doesn't work for me, but I know that many people feel great after para-sailing, white-water rafting, bungee-jumping, or roller-coaster-riding. For the less daring, a great run, bike ride, or spinning class can do the trick.

挑战身体。这个策略对我没用，但是我知道很多人在进行了帆伞运动、激流划艇、蹦极过山车后感觉很好。对于胆小一些的，跑步、骑自行车或动感单车课程都行。