面对职场暴力你该怎么办（下）

Patterson offered these tips to keep the office bully¹ at bay:

Patterson 提供了让人们远离欺负者的建议：

1. Don't be rude in return. 不要以“粗”相对

Replying with a snide remark means stooping to the bully's level, and the problem could escalate². 以卑鄙的话回答意味着把自己降低到恶棍的水准，可能导致问题激化。

2. Assume the best. 做最好的假设

Instead of assuming your co-worker is intentionally³ being rude or inconsiderate, assume he is unaware⁴ of how his actions are affecting you. For example, when someone cuts in line in front of you at a movie theater, say something like: "I'm sorry, were you aware that we've been standing⁵ here in line?" Presuming innocence⁶ avoids an accusation⁷ and gets the conversation started off right.

不要假设你的同事故意表现粗鲁或不顾别人，而要假设他并不知道他的行为对你有何影响。例如，当有人在电影院插队，可以说：“抱歉，你意识到我们在排队吗？” 假设对方无辜，可以避免指责并容易展开对话。

3. Separate intentions from outcome. 分清结果和意图

If your co-worker publicly calls you something offensive, before you respond in-kind, ask yourself: "Why would a decent, rational human being say something like that?" Then, approach your co-worker and say, "I'm sure you didn't intend this, but when you call me ‘honey' it makes me uncomfortable."

如果你的同事公然用侵犯的语言称呼你，在你以同样方式做出回应前，问自己”为什么一个体面、有理智的人会说出那样的话？“ 然后，走到这人旁边问一问：”我想你不是有意这么说，但当你叫我“甜心”，这让我不舒服。“

4. Start with the facts. 从事实开始

When you feel constantly offended by someone's behavior, it's easy to feel victimized or become convinced the bully is out to get you -- but this could lead to a nasty confrontation⁸. Before you confront the bully by talking about your feelings or making conclusions, stick to the facts: "Often in our team meetings, you demean my ideas. Today, you called my idea stupid." Then proceed to your conclusion, and ask your co-worker for feedback.

当你感到不断被某人冒犯，很容易有受害者的感觉，或者认为这位欺负者故意让你生气。但这可能导致一个不愉快的对峙。在你进行对峙、谈论感受和做出结论之前，从事实开始：” 在我们小组会议时，你总是贬低我的看法，比如今天，你说我的想法很愚蠢。“ 然后，说到你的结论，让对方做出反馈。