论家庭

The joys of parents are secret; and so are their griefs and fears. They cannot utter the one; nor they will not utter the other. Children sweeten labors¹; but they make misfortunes more bitter. They increase the cares of life; but they mitigate²（减轻，缓和） the remembrance of death. The perpetuity（永恒） by generation is common to beasts; but memory, merit, and noble works, are proper to men. And surely a man shall see the noblest works and foundations have proceeded from childless men; which have sought to express the images of their minds, where those of their bodies have failed. So the care of posterity³（子孙，后代） is most in them, that have no posterity. They that are the first raisers of their houses, are most indulgent（放纵的，宽容的） towards their children; beholding⁴ them as the continuance, not only of their kind, but of their work; and so both children and creatures.

 　　  

The difference in affection, of parents towards their several children, is many times unequal; and sometimes unworthy; especially in the mothers; as Solomon saith, A wise son rejoiceth the father, but an ungracious（没有教养的） son shames the mother. A man shall see, where there is a house full of children, one or two of the eldest⁵ respected, and the youngest made wantons; but in the midst, some that are as it were forgotten, who many times, nevertheless, prove the best. The illiberality⁶ of parents, in allowance towards their children, is an harmful error; makes them base; acquaints them with shifts; makes them sort with mean company; and makes them surfeit⁷ more when they come to plenty. And therefore the proof is best, when men keep their authority towards the children, but not heir purse. Men have a foolish manner (both parents and schoolmasters and servants) in creating and breeding an emulation⁸ between brothers, during childhood, which many times sorteth to discord⁹ when they are men, and disturbeth families.

 

The Italians make little difference between children, and nephews or near kinsfolks; but so they be of the lump, they care not though they pass not through their own body. And, to say truth, in nature it is much a like matter; insomuch（就此程度而言） that we see a nephew sometimes resembleth an uncle, or a kinsman¹⁰, more than his own parent; as the blood happens. Let parents choose betimes, the vocations¹¹ and courses they mean their children should take; for then they are most flexible; and let them not too much apply themselves to the disposition¹² of their children, as thinking they will take best to that, which they have most mind to. It is true, that if the affection or aptness（倾向，才能） of the children be extraordinary, then it is good not to cross it; but generally the precept¹³ is good, optimum elige, suave¹⁴ et facile illud faciet consuetudo（习惯）. Younger brothers are commonly fortunate, but seldom or never where the elder are disinherite.

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